Twenty Four

This week Scott and I celebrated our 24th Wedding Anniversary. We love 'our day'... like really love July 28th. It's our day and it feels so special each year. We adore our anniversary. Feel feel so giddy and grateful and happy and in love. I am so glad July 28th is our day.

Our celebrating was a bit different this year. Usually we aren't home. Hawaii, Vermont, Disney, Canada, Alaska, Vancouver... we always schedule our big family summer trip during our anniversary week. But this year we were home.

And it was a wonderful day! Wonderful! Mostly because my hard working, stressed principal husband took the day off! A miracle for someone trying to figure out how to open up school in September. But he did take it off and we spent the whole day together doing little things together and with the girls.

I loved it - it was just what we needed - and I'll hold on to this day until it comes again next July - I wouldn't mind if we were somewhere on a trip next year.

Things I loved about our anniversary this year:

1. We worked out together before the girls were up.

2. We had breakfast and then headed (with Abigail) to a local garden shop to pick out a few new plants.

3. He made the most amazing blueberry pancakes and we had our morning tea and a 'second' breakfast out on the porch.

4. Our afternoon was gardening just doing a regular day with the girls.

5. We had a special 'just the two of us' dinner at night.

6. After Abigail was all tucked in for the night and Anna was reading in her bed we hung out in the family room and brainstormed and explored ideas for a family trip next year - dreaming is so much fun!

Steady Love

Happy Anniversary, my sweet prince. For twenty four years, my Scott has been my husband, and I, his bride❣️ I love this picture for so many reasons, because it represents what he has always been to me.



Steady love. 💗

He loves me from a completely true and loyal heart. ❤️ He has always believed in ME and my strengths, without reminding me of my weaknesses.
He thinks I'm smart and beautiful, and tells me so. Which is so sweet, when I can't see it.
His soul is filled with goodness, and faith. He prays and reads the Bible every morning. 💗

He believes in the magic of love, imagination, Christmas, and children, and all the joy in the world. 🌎

He is a loving father and his daddy loyalty is unwavering. He fights for his daughters and never gives up on them. He has been to more doctor appointments, counsel appointments, school meetings more than anyone should have to.
He is kind and genuine. His needs are simple, and his family is everything to him. Steady love. 💗

His work ethic at home and at his school is immeasurable. He is inspiring to teachers in his school and respected in the town.
Our dream home is 19 years of his hard work, every weekend- painting, putting in floors, planting trees, tiling bathrooms. All him.
My dream of staying home for 13 years he made happen - He budgeted and re budgeted and made it work. And then he was the one that encouraged me to bring my light and love for children back to the classroom. Without him I would have been too terrified. He is the first to jump over to my school and my classroom to hang something, move furniture - he'll do anything when I have an idea in my head. All for me and the love of education, the children. 💗

And when I'm anxious, he is there. Always. To comfort. To aid. To love. 💞

He does all this behind the scenes. Which is exactly what this picture reflects. No matter what the world is outside. Every night, I get to come home to this.
My own St. Joseph. My protector. My handsome man that loves me. That knows me. That believes in my silly ideas.
I absolutely would not be who I am today, without his steady love. Yes, steady love. ❤️
And as unsteady as the world is, marriage can be, health can be. The most important blessing that God can give us is unconditional love, like His.
If you have that love, like I do. Be grateful. If you don't, then don't settle.
Everyone deserves to be loved. Perfectly. For all that you are, with a wonderful steady love. Always and forever. ❤️ Thanks be to God, for letting me see this lovely boy in our high school cafeteria line way back in 1989.

Sunlight and Poetry

This summer my mind has had a chance for many things. I've loved my changing of each room - little bits here and there.





I've loved trying out new literature - and poetry. I've been so loving the whimsical and sometimes deeply person poetry.

This is a book I bought that is oh so beautiful. I've been reading the poem each day to the girls and we love it. The nature of it, the sometimes rhyme of it. And certainly the illustrations of it.

Own Your Style

I wonder sometimes if I ever knew almost twenty years ago just how special this place would be - just how many talks - just how many tears - just how much laughter - just how many songs and dances - from babies to toddlers to teens - from newly married to now. I love our home and I really love our kitchen.



It took me a while to find a style that I loved - but really easy, actually. I follow what is in my heart. I love vintage. I love baking. I love lots and lots of white so that all of my vintage can be the color. I love antiques and New England type/classic furniture. I love decorating with old books - classics. I love vintage tablecloths and sweet, homey vingettes. I love milk glass. I love pastels (especially pink). I love the huge trees at our house. I love teacups and built in china cabinets in my old, sweet house.



"Never, and I mean never, allow anyone else's ideas decide who you can or can't become sully your dreams or pollute your imagination.
This is your territory, and a Keep Out sign is a great thing to erect at all entrances to your imagination."
Wayne Dyer

Tea Time Menu

What I believe about tea time is back here and here



This week I served:

Cheddar and Chive quiche 



Homemade scones 



Homemade Frozen Scoop of Cookie Dough (I found the recipe from Ben & Jerrys's) 



... along with a hot pot of darjeeling tea 







Other tea menu posts are here and here and here and here and here and here and here  and  here  and here  and here and here and here and here 

Tiny - but big - motherhood lesson

I was unprepared for motherhood.

Desperately ready.

I knew that if my arms didn't hold a baby my heart would never be filled.

However, unprepared I still was.

Motherhood did not come to me by surprise. We had already been married over 8 years and we were both longing to add that gift into our marriage when God moved in our hearts to adopt from China.

And even as 'blissful'  a picture I paint of my 13 years as a stay at home - out of the classroom mama I was unprepared.

I thought, 'bring her home - put a pretty dress on her - live happily ever after'

Some of at nativity is true. I did live in that dreamy world of being at home all day with my baby girls. I did and still do love dresses.

But I was unprepared for the shocking reality of parenting (and I won't go into detail) a baby, a toddler, a young elementary school aged, a middle school, a high school aged child with PTSD. With severe sensory integration disorder. The kind of issues that no one understands except for Scott and I. Which led to deep family isolation for us. Some understand, can sympathize, care, but no one lives it.

I was unprepared for the shocking reality of parenting (and I won't go into detail) a baby, a toddler, a young elementary school aged, a middle school child with a chronic disease. With daily pain, with anxiety issues.

I kept thinking (for both of them) - find the right doctor, the right medicine, the right program and my blissful days could continue. I had to 'fix' what was wrong for them.

But finally God said, "Live through this season - each season as their mama with more joy and peace knowing that when you live into the season I will meet their needs. The anxiety you feel, the must-fix-it you feel is you. Not me."

Sure we've had days upon days of bliss here. But we've also had moments upon moments of sheer difficult here. Difficult with a feet digging deep in the sand while my husband and I hold on for dear life kind of moments.

There is determination and persistence to do this well. There is nothing more important to us than being Anna and Abigail's mama and daddy.

I need to remind myself often of the words that God has spoken over and over through the years to my heart. Early in the morning. In prayer times. In times when I've dragged myself out of bed when it's still dark because I wouldn't dare do this motherhood without Him. And the same with Scott.

I rest in the peace that I live into this season trusting that He will meet their needs. I am only a vehicle of love.

I've rediscovered God in places I didn't expect to find him. I have found for this mama that has wrestled big with anxiety especially concerning her daughters, that the rhythm and beauty of a day; just a day being with them; connects me to His spirit who sings and whispers over my soul. He tells me not to fix but just to be. Be what I made you to be and I'll be what they need.

Simple Summer Days

Right now we would be usually putting the final touches on a big trip - a big adventure for our family. You know the few days before you travel when there is a mountain of to dos but it feels like you're floating on a cloud of happy anticipation? That would normally be us right now - we always travel the last week of July.

But I don't feel bad because we've got those memories - so so many of them. And we have next year, right?

The days we do have are very simple. And there are so many things I love about this summer.

💖I love reading after lunch
💖I love our girls friendship Bible study we are doing together
💖I love hearing the viola as they practice
💖I love extra quiet time in the morning - it fills my soul
💖I love the sound of the garage which means that Scott is home
💖I love the busy dinner prep kitchen
💖I love games with Abigail in the evening
💖I love talking at night
💖I love watering the flowers
💖I love listening to a podcast
💖I love cleaning and decorating
💖I love being with, teaching, encouraging, spending all my time with my girls

Yes, simple days are lovely. I miss adventure of a trip for sure - but it just means that next year will be that much more wonderful wherever we end up.

Reading

Some days in the summer I think it's important to read what you want to read. Well, some would argue that you should always read what you want to but when you are a child that is reaching for something in your future there are many days that reading what you must read takes precedence.

Anna is a diligent student. She strives and she has lofty goals. I must admit that she is leaps and bounds smarter than her daddy or I at her age. We saw it long ago and encouraged her to be all that she could. She recently scored a 5, the highest national score on her AP US History exam, earning her college credits. She is all signed up for 5 AP classes for her senior year and has stars in her eyes as she thinks about learning in a university.

The day Anna finished a summer class for Psychology through Boston College this summer I went in her bedroom and asked what are you doing to relax now that BC is done? "Oh, I'm teaching myself another language; I'd like to learn Japanese." Yes, that is Anna.

But summer is summer. And although there are a stack of books she must read this summer for her AP literature classes before school even starts this September, I smiled when she took an old, familiar, favorite, middle childhood series, off her bookshelf. They are 'comfort food' for her a brain that needs some rest.

So she is rereading this series and loving it. It's a step back in time for her and that makes this mama's heart happy.



Abigail has been plowing through books this summer. This is the one she is in this week:



And my dreamy, romantic, idealistic, old fashioned heart is so loving this 'first time through' this series. The Anne of Green Gables books. Each one more delightful than the one before. This is the third and I'm loving it oh so much.

Porch Life

In this different summer we have been loving our days {and nights} on the screened in porch. If it's not this week {extreme heat and humidity} we basically live out there. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, reading, naps, late evening talks. It's the best to have this space for our little family.



"Summertime is always the best of what might be." -Charles Bowden



The summer sun rises to a crescendo of birdsong as a playful breeze frolics across the fields, dipping its toes in the morning dew. A new day is dawning, and the whole of nature joins in the celebration. 



"And it is summer, glorious, deep-toned summer, the very crown of nature's changing year when all her surging life is at its full." -Amy Lowell 



"It's the little things in life that mean the most in a homemade happy life." -Susan Branch



"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." -WM Morris



Home, Where even the tea kettle sings from happiness. 

Tea Time Menu

What I believe about tea time is back here and here

This week I had a Christmas Tea because it's July (and all of that Christmas in July) but also because we needed a little Christmastime in our home. What better than in our tea?

So I set the table with one of our Christmas tea dishes and a jolly table cloth.

I cooked the gingerbread the evening before and we each made a mini gingerbread house - more to decorate our tea table than eat.





This week I served: 

Tarragon Butter and Cucumber Tea Sandwiches 





Red Velvet Scones with homemade tea butters 



and Gingerbread Cookies 





Paired with Holiday Tea from Harney and Sons 



Explanation of Tea Time is back here



Other tea menu posts are here and here and here and here and here and here and here  and  here  and here  and here and here and here 

All in a Choosing

I've been thinking about an email that we got this week regarding returning to school amid Covid19. There is so much work to do and everything must go. Every book, every bookcase, every small group table. A blank room so that the 23 desks can be as far apart as possible. It's the kind of email that is so stressful, so questioning, so many emotions. Scott and I will be going in on the weekend to start working. Amid the stress of trying to get my mind around all of it there is also sadness for what is being packed away, what won't be happening, and of course the unknown.

I shared my feelings with my girls when we were having our lunch today and Anna ran upstairs to get her Bible notebook. She felt led today to write down a verse that spoke to her heart.

Romans 11:36

For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. {For all things originate with Him and come from Him; all things live through Him, and all things center in and tend to consummate and to end in Him}. To Him be glory forever! Amen.

She explained that she wanted to be mindful of doing everything for God. And that it is in the M O M E N T that we loose sight of why we are doing something that we are really alone.

We choose to be alone when we choose to see each situation without God.

We choose to be alone when we choose to work at things without God.

We choose to be alone when we choose to forget why God has us in a situation and what He can bring to His glory through the situation.

We choose to be alone when we choose to get all wrapped up in what we have to do and not what God has for us to do.

Anna's wisdom touched my heart.

Abigail added in such childlike wonder:  If we are choosing not to do all things through Him and in Him then we are ultimately choosing to do things with the enemy.

John 10:10

The thief only comes to kill, steal, and destroy; I have come that they might have life and have it to the full. 

The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy our moments.

I want to do each moment in the life God has for me and in Him peace.

And I am so grateful for my Spirit filled daughters for sharing their love for Him.

Date Nights

Every Saturday night Scott and I have a date night at home.

We started this rhythm and ritual when the girls were babies. I remember our first {I'm not quite sure how I remember it, but I do}

We had just gotten back from the Polar Express with toddler Anna. It was one of those 'all my dreams come true' evenings. After we got home and I put sleeping Anna in her crib I remember Scott saying to me, "want to get a small pizza and a watch a Christmas movie?" {heart pitter patter}

And so 'date night at home' began. Did we ever leave our girls? Yes we did. But not without much stress from me. It's too long for a post today but I used to get intense headaches from missing them. So our at home date nights always worked for us.

Of course now we have a 17 and 13 year old. So long gone are the Saturday nights when both girls are all tucked in by 8pm. And if we waited until they were asleep we'd be starting our date night at 11pm.

We decided that they could have their own 'sister date night' and we'd still get ours. The girls sometimes watch a movie or shows on our bed {cozy} or sometimes they pull over their bean bags and watch something in the playroom.

I love this rhythm and ritual. I love that the girls have seen us make this work throughout the years. I love that they know it's important to us and for us. And I love that they have a special sister time.

Last Saturday they chose to watch a movie in the playroom. I pulled over their childhood play tea cart and they had a bit of their homemade ice cream and mini chocolate chip cookie pies.







I do so look forward to Saturday nights.