Parenting can be such an emotional rollercoaster. I think I've got it all set. The routine is starting to fall into place. The girls are adjusting and I am a bit too. I find that I have still too much on my plate to keep me busy and then more comes.
In fourth grade at the elementary school the children start a musical instrument. They can either pick a band instrument or one from the strings orchestra. Most children of course have never played but Anna is still nervous. She's been playing the viola since Kindergarten and I've told her that she'll feel so good because it'll be so easy for her. (finally something easy for her)
But then the teacher just called me to say that he'd like to start her in the fifth grade orchestra since she's been playing for so long. He thinks she'll be bored if she starts with her classmates in fourth grade.
I agreed to whatever he thought best, and even agreed to bring her on Monday morning early early to meet him so that he can see her level and catch her up with note reading. (Her sazuki lessons for all of these years are not note reading and all ear)
So I'm off the phone and I panic. First for Anna. How am I even going to tell her that she's going to be with fifth graders? And then I think about our morning. How can I get her to school 20 minutes early? It takes every last second to get my allergy Kindergartner to eat just enough bites before heading out the door.
And then there's changing Anna's routine. With her PTSD she can't have a change in routine. She even doesn't like when I park in a different space in the morning. Getting her to school extra early, meeting a teacher she's never met, working with him one on one, oh my word....
Like I said, parenting is a rollercoaster. Some days, like right now I long for my babies to be home all little. One on my hip and the other playing with leggos on the floor right next to me. Life seemed so much more simple then. Oh I'd do that day in a heartbeat over this one. (and the one that will come Monday morning when I tell Anna all of this and she begs me not to take her early)
It's a balance that tricky to figure out. How much to do push your kids out of their comfort zone knowing that in the end it might be a wonderful experience? With this situation I'm not quite sure. I suppose I'll take it one step at a time and see how she does.
One thing I do know though is that being a mother is not for the weak, and that situations will only get more complicated and more serious as the years go on. One day far from now I'll look back at this whole 'fifth grade orchestra but she's only a fourth grader' problem as easy peasy. I'll think "that was hard? That was nothing." So the bottom line is that I'll enjoy each milestone, each stage and step of being Anna and Abigail's mother. It's all so wonderful.
Can I just do these days again?