Monday, November 19, 2012
Mommy Moments and Mistakes
(Abigail on her first "half birthday")
Today I looked at the calendar and realized that it is November 19 and a wave of awfulness washed over me. I realized that we passed November 18 which would be Abigail's "Five and a Half" birthday.
I stopped for a moment and didn't move a muscle just like when I lost my Grandmother's ring way back. If I don't move maybe it didn't happen. So I sat here, at my desk with the girls directly behind me on the playroom floor happily playing ponies.
She doesn't even know. It's only a half birthday. No... that didn't work. I feel awful.
It's a good thing I make plenty of mistakes for all of the little things that I know don't and won't amount to much in the grand scheme of raising these two girls. And I make plenty of them every day.
But I suppose these moments...
wash away all of the others.
(when her hair is just so and she's looking down, and I squint my eyes just a bit, I can see my baby still)
(random reading in bed picture)
(under the clouds)
But of course tomorrow while they are at school I'll be baking a birthday cake and digging in the birthday bin for five and a half candles. I'll tell Anna not to tell her it's not the right day. (because Anna will figure it out right away)
You know that those "half birthdays" count to them. She'll love saying to everyone who asks, "I'm five and a half!!!"