Monday, October 8, 2012

You Are Mine

anna

I love the refrain from a song in Church on  Sunday. 

"Do not be afraid, I am with you. 
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me, I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine."

The words were very fitting for what we've been feeling and going through with Anna for about a week now.  Issues I can't really find the words for except to say that there are places in her heart that are still in raw pain.  Raising an adopted child leaves Scott and I sometimes (altough it's not as often now) emotionally exhaused.  We haven't seen an 'episode' (we'll call it) in a loooong time and we're not sure why.  We can only guess that two field trips in one week has thrown her off.  She does not feel safe in her world when the routine is changed, when there's unexpected, when as she puts it, "things are all loose".  For this reason we ask her teacher to please leave her desk the same all year if possible when they change things up. 

Anna is a sweet girl with lots of love in her.  She adores her sister and really needs her to feel safe when we're out and about.  Abigail is her little security blanket.  She loves her home and her family.  She loves school and learning and is such a hard worker.  She just amazes Scott and I sometimes that she can do all she does; be all she is while working through the pain caused from her first 14 months of life.  She still struggles to look in my eyes when she says "I love you" , to cuddle, and to let us hold her for long periods of time.  But we do, and we do on purpose. 

This weekend I was rocking her through some hurt and praying, asking God for strength for me and I kept feeling His arms around me and I though of those words...

"Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me, I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine."



2 comments:

  1. Oh Tara...I can feel your love for your daughter and your heart aching for her pain right through your beautifully written words... Please know that you have a blog friend here praying for you! PS. I too love that song!

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  2. this is so beautiful tara.
    i too can feel the love you have for her. she is a very lucky girl.
    have a happy day

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