Friday, March 24, 2017

"Something New"

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My feelings are so deep right now and I'm not sure I can remember her words.  I know I can't.

Except that they were beautiful.

Today was Abigail's last day with her 4th grade teacher.  We are thrilled that she is leaving to have a baby.  But today was so sad and wonderful all in one.

This teacher has been on this blog a lot.  Because she was Abigail's kindergarten teacher.  I did this first post about her waaaaay back here.  

And then that same year wrote about her again.

And on the last day of school in kindergarten was here.

I've spent a lot of time with this particular teacher over the two years Abigail had her.  (back here)

And was even there after she welcomed her first baby into the world.  (here)

I could write about her forever but with all of those (back here) links, I suppose I already have.

Today was really the last last time Abigail would call her 'teacher'.  And this teacher made it such an amazing last afternoon.

She assigned poems to all of the children.  They could memorize one, read one, write one.

Abigail chose to write one.

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It was titled "My Teacher" and it was from deep in her heart and filled with love.

I think she took this teacher by surprise as she read it today.

And I tried, oh how I tried not to cry. But I did.

These two are bonded deep. And do you know why? It's because this teacher loves all children and makes all children feel number one to her.

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She told us a story at Abigail's parent/teacher conference this month. She said that Abigail likes to sit right up close at read aloud time. And she stares at her teacher as if she's the only one. It's as if Abigail feels like it's just the two of them in the class. I love that.

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Today, this teacher read her favorite poem and allowed herself to cry in front of her class. Because she will miss them. At the end of the day she told them that this is like how seasons are. She said, "I love fall. I love to get out my sweaters, and take out all of my favorite teas. But I love winter too. I love snow days and that blanket of fresh snow. I love the spring when I open up the windows for the first time and smell that smell, what's that smell boys and girls? That's spring. But I love summer too. Even the sticky hot days. All of the seasons are good. And in each season there are changes that I love to make. I change out my jacket. I change my shoes. I change my food and I even change the things that are in my car. This is like a new season for you boys and girls. Just a new season. Summer is coming early, in a way to you. And with a new season there is something new. That something new is going to be wonderful. Just to see."

(focused in on the poem)

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Yes, these two are something special.

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Thursday, March 23, 2017

Eosinohpilic Esophogitis Check In

We spent some time yesterday at Abigail's EoE doctor.

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We made some decisions.  Some changes of medicines.  And a plan for the fall and next endoscopy.

When I drove Abigail to school later that day she was visibly upset and started crying.

It took a long time to get out of her what was making her so upset.

He didn't really mean it when he said, "what would you like to add?" (for a food)  It was just conversation.  But Abigail took it literally and was thinking.  About to tell him the food she'd like to add back in the conversation changed.

Scott and I didn't even notice it.  But she was very sad.

Dealing with a chronic disease has it's ups and downs.  Mostly ups for her recently but what we've noticed as she gets older is the emotional component that comes with walking with EoE.

In the beginning when she was a toddler it was about managing her food, the IV, hospital endoscopy appointments and such.

Recently its about managing the pain, the inconvenience of medicines, and not eating out or being 'food normal'.

I know for sure her dr wasn't about to add in a new food group.  But she for some reason had her heart set on adding one in.

At this point she doesn't know what ice cream tastes like, or food cooked with butter, movie popcorn, pizza, mac and cheese, yogurt, anything store bought, and on and on and on.  We are pretty sure she wouldn't even like those foods.  It's been her whole like.  But for her I would love to she her have the opportunity to have regular food.

So we love on her extra and walk through this EoE childhood with her, grateful for the gifts it's given us, the lessons we've learned along the way, and the strength of the Lord.

For now this remains...

no fish
no tree nuts
no peanuts
no soy
no dairy

and meds galore.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Before you know it

Last week a blizzard, yesterday melting snow, dripping off roofs, temps almost reaching 60 with the sunshine warming us from the inside out.  Today those same puddles from yesterdays slush are frozen again.  It's windy and oh so cold.

March is like that. 

But THIS is coming.
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Pool days, water dripping off her eyelashes day.

Warm in the sun days.  

I've said before here on this blog that I'm a winter girl.  I am for sure.  But every once in a while I accidentally see a picture like that and think, oh that, that might be nice! 

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

On leaving them

I remember this day. I had gone to a play with my parents the evening before. Anna and Abigail were staying over at Uncle Trent and Auntie Jackie's house. All through the evening Trent was texting me funny pictures of my girls and the wonderful fun memories they were making.

But after the play (which was amazing "Show Boat" my all time favorite ever musical because my dad and I danced to that song on my wedding day 20 years earlier) Anyway... after the play I got a migraine. The kind of headache you get when you have to have your head between your legs while the car is moving.

Back then I literally got a huge headache every single time I left my girls. School was fine, that was a routine. But anything out of the routine I had a headache. Poor Scott!

That's when we started 'at home' date nights.

This is the picture I have from the next morning. After the sleepover, I went over to pick them up at dawn. Headache gone.

They are still in their nightgowns from Uncle Trent's house. And I look all better.

blog sleepover girls with me

I don't get migraines any more, but I still have anxiety leaving them. I'm not worried that something will happen. I'm not really a worrier. I was just missing them. Aching for them. So much so that I got those headaches.

One time my parents gave us a generous gift certificate for a restaurant for our anniversary. Right near their house. Perfect. The girls have dinner and some play time at grandma and grandpas, we go out to dinner.

But that time it (migraines) had happened so many times I took advil BEFORE I left them at my parents.

I don't have to take advil anymore when I leave them, but I'm still terrible at it. Still get that ache in my heart. Still can't wait to have them back home with me again.

I guess I knew this when I was younger. I couldn't go anywhere without my dolls. Always with me.

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I choose not to worry about the future and how I'll survive them growing up. I just smile and whisper in their ears "just stay little, just stay little, just stay little."

Monday, March 20, 2017

Saint Patrick's Day Weekending

Baking

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st patricks day 2

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Waiting

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Twirling

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st patricks day 6

Irish Dancing

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Frosting

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st patricks day 9

st patricks day 10

Fizzing

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First Time Ever Soda Trying (and dumping it out after they hated it)

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Practicing

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Playdate~ing

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with the cutest little girl who goes to our church (in the city) and who also is in her Irish Dance class. (oh, and who "plays little" which is hard to find these days)

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maggie 3

Before Mass Judy Blooming

reading

Friday, March 17, 2017

Faith Filled Friday

I haven't done one of these posts in a loooooong time and so here I am right now thinking I might share with you one of my favorite 'go to' scripture verses from Saint Paul.

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2 Corinthians 4:16-18 

Therefore, do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear) Though our outer man is (progressively) decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being (progressively) renewed day after day.  

For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory (beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!)

Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are everlasting.  

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I just love those verses, especially on days when there is that "momentary affliction" (that 'something' that is going on in my life.  A problem to deal with the the girls, or a car that needs repair, Scott's ongoing back problem, or even a simple pimple I didn't want to wake up with.  I can apply the wisdom from these verses to any "affliction" big or small.  

I come back to these verse often, read them slowly, and let them wash over me.  

I think "this too shall pass" "this can't last forever" 

Even when I look back at a difficult time I've endured I can remember thinking "I can not go through this one. more. day."  I can remember thinking that I've been tempted every five minutes to believe that they difficulty was going to last forever.  

But then I remember that I DID make it to the other side.  And that this time with this new difficultly I might be going through I will make it through again with Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) And on that other side I can see how God turned those experiences into good for my life.  (Romans 8:28)  

The first one that comes to mind is waiting to be parents.  I can remember what felt like EVERYONE around me pregnant.  I had to 'endure' baby shower after baby shower after baby shower.  And each one felt like a knife in my side.  Grin and bear it, buy the gift, eat the cake, and get outta there before anyone sees you starting to cry.  

But of course now I look back and KNOW that God had a plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and that I DID make it through with His strength (Philippians 4:13) and certainly God turned those experiences into good (Romans 8:28).  

It's certainly difficult when you're in the middle of it.  (big or really small affliction) For sure these scripture verses don't magically make the affliction wash away.  But they do give me a peace that "passes all understanding"  (Philippians 4:7)

And when I read them I am reminded that the season of trials will pass.  And Saint Paul learned to keep his eyes on the prize of heaven and trust God to prepare him so that God's glory was revealed through his life.  

These scriptures verses are "light and momentary" from the perspective of eternity.  No matter how bad a certain situation may LOOK, God loves us.  And we can trust Him.  

Thursday, March 16, 2017

March BLIZZARD

For the past two days we have been at home cozy, with both fireplaces going and a swirling snowstorm outside all around us. In other words, pure heaven.

The only way I can describe a snowstorm is that time stops. It's like a time machine, but better. To do lists stop, activities stop, school of course stops, the neighborhood, the street, the town, the state is quiet. And I have my family and my home all to myself. There is no homework, no daddy principal emails, no errands to run... on and on... it just plain stops. In other words, again, pure heaven.

There is NOTHING like a big snowstorm, nothing. I know that some of you who live in warmer places right now wouldn't want a drop of this fluffy white stuff on a Tuesday, let alone almost 24 inches, so I took a few pictures to show you why I adore it.

I think long ago when I was a little girl I KNEW I'd love these big storms with my family and so I went into education so that I'd always have snow storm days without the complication of work. And so convinced my then looking into Political Science one day husband to be to consider education as well. Let's just say it has worked out for both of us perfectly.

So Monday we knew. Knew there would be a snowstorm. Monday was sunny and quite warm for Connecticut in March. But there was a buzz of activity because of what was forcasted for the next day.

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They were predicting 12-18 inches in some areas and 18-24 inches in other areas. My kinda forecast! Monday night after bedtime I showered and got on fresh jammies with Scott whipped up what we call "Chocolate Movie Date Night Shakes" They are special to me (because he makes them dairy free and refined sugar free) and are oh soooooo good! Just what this night called for!

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It was a the coziest night and so relaxing, the opposite of a typical Monday here. Date night on a Monday... only a snow day!

Slept in later than my usual but still wanted some of the house all to myself.

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Hot tea, Bible time, prayer,

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Quiet, not a car on the road, not a person out walking.

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And then since Abigail knew it was a snow day she woke up bright and early. And I heard, "mooooooommmmmy" from my desk.

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During breakfast I noticed that there was hardly any food for the birds left in the feeder. Scott (still in workout shorts) went outside to save my birds!

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And the snow started really coming down.

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So I started in on the chocolate chip cookie making.

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With the warmth of the oven going and the girls playing in the next room, I watched the snow come down from my kitchen window.

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Isn't it romantic?

And this on the other window that Abigail was just looking out of less than an hour before.

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Around 10:00 it got dark and visibility was less and less.

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The wind was howling and the snow piling up but we were happy as could be in our little house (because we had enough gas for the generator in case we lost power)

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Looking into the backyard around 10:00 it looked (and sounded like this)



Scott decided to do a few runs with the snow blower throughout the storm instead of waiting until the next day.



Visibility nothing past the arbor.

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Chicken and noodles around the kitchen table that had cooked all day.

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And homemade cookies for dessert.

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There were games and movies, playing and fun.

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And the very next day was no school too because it was impossible for the roads to be clear in time for driving. So guess what? We got to do it all over again the very next day. Another day of perfection... how lucky can I be?

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I took all of these through the glass door (in front of the warm and cozy fire)

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So happy to have had these extra two days where time stopped and I could love on these two girls.

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The girls like the sunny/next day/playing part... but I love the actual stormy day best of all.

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