(random iphone pics that don't have anything to do with my words)
I am a mother. And sometimes motherhood can be sweet and calm, easy, just the way I pictured it to be. I rocked my baby dolls when I was young and my strollers always were neat as a pin. But today with my seven year old and eleven year old motherhood is
a mess so big I want to cry
fresh talk and instigating
it's Abigail waking up so early when I wanted to get a few things done
it's distraction and to dos that won't ever, can't ever get done
it's Abigail's tears because it's afternoon and she's tired
it's Anna not wanting to help me out
but motherhood is still
me listening to their silly voices as they play the most imaginative play
it's Abigail saying to me "let's cuddle"
it's Anna leaving notes outside of Abigail's bedroom door at night so she can wake up to one
it's Abigail saying, "please Anna, come to the pool and pirate day with me" and Anna drops everything and goes
it's Anna holding my hand was we go for a walk
Motherhood is my life. It is what I am called to do. It is time, sweet precious time with them. It is routines and days that I won't let myself take for granted. Motherhood is messy and it is grand. It's the sweetness that I wanted when I was only eight but it is so much more.
I treasure my mothering so much. I am inspired and challenged. There is nothing more important to me in the world than just being, just being, just being a mother.
Oh I love this post! I feel the same way my friend. Not a night goes by that I do not lay in my bed and wonder if I was the best mom I could have been that day...I question so much of what I do as a mom.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mom and your girls are very blessed to call you mom. I often wish I could spend an afternoon with you just soaking up all your wisdom on motherhood.
This. This is why I adore...admire...and downright love you, Tara. You were born to be a mother to those precious babes. : )
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