In Over My Head

I hate it when people complain when they are moving to a new and greater/better house.  I hate it when I hear people complain when they are having a super awesome addition put on their house or their kitchen ripped up only to pick out every new detail of a new one.  I hate it.  So I won't complain how yucky this week is going except to say that I'm over my head in this water I'm trying to swim in.  Mostly because I need order not chaos.  It's how I mother best.  And mothering this summer is the single most important thing to me.  Not in the way that 'working moms' talk about mothering being their 'first priority'.  (I have nothing against working moms by the way) But I'm talking about the tiny little details of being here day in and day out all summer long.  BEING with them.  It's my first love in the summer (and always) and it's all I want to do.  So it's super hard when...

1.  We came home thinking the floors were done and decided to stay up til 1am (again) and get it all moved back in only to find out that they need one more coat on Monday so we'll stay up til 1am (again) moving it all back out.
2.  We came home to our air conditioner completely broken.
3.  We came home to a flood in our playroom because of the air conditioner.
4.  We came home to a broken dryer (now fixed... hey... something went our way today)

Did I ever mention that I need some little bit of order to do my mothering best?  So it's super hard when...

1.  I can't eat out with my allergy girl but really can't use the kitchen because the floor is not done.
2.  I'm tripping over piles and piles and piles of stuff crammed in every corner of my house that's not on a new floor that's not done.
3.  I have no schedule, no order, and I don't know which end is up.

But you know what I thought of when we came home thinking that the floors were done up so pretty?  Wow!  I wish God would sand off my rough edges so quickly like that and put a shiny new coat over me to protect me and keep me just perfect.

But he doesn't.  He can't.  He loves me too much to make it that easy.  He wants me to need him, to know that I need him.  To search for him.  To want to learn more, seek more, study his  Word more, pray more.  That his how he sands me.  Not in one weekend but just a little and a little each day.

His allows his Holy Spirit to move my heart when my words are rough.  When I want to be selfish and am tired.  He gently corrects me.  Sands me.  Polishes me just a bit more.

When I take time to read the Bible and pray... he comforts me and loves me.  He holds me and lets me know that He is there.

Sometimes I sure want the easy path.  I want to be sanded quickly.  To get it done.  To lay that final coat that is sure to come Monday morning.  I want to be just like my (almost) done, new floor.  But I'm not.  So I hold on.  I hold on to his promises, His words, His hands and allow Him to work.

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Leaving for New Hampshire... don't we all look happy?



More photos to come just as soon as I swipe this junk off my desk!