First of all I have to publicly thank Cindy for her 'just what I needed to hear' wisdom from my blog post yesterday. She's become a good friend to me and somehow knows my heart in all of this. It's possible to feel the guilt of needing some space; a break and still so sad that school is less than a week away.
This is new ground I'm walking into and I'm edgy, nervous, excited, and sad all at the same time. I think that this week leading up to Abigail, my baby, going into full day Kindergarten is harder than the actual first day of school for me. I have much anxiety about being home without messes, noise, and constant needs. Perhaps I'm afraid that I'll actually have to tackle my 8 year long to-do lists. I'd really rather not organize mounds of out-grown clothes, clean parts of my house that have been neglected for so long, etc. I'd rather be overwhelmed with playdoh messes and hungry, thirsty kids. I'd rather read books over and over to them on the couch than clean under those cushions for sure. Soooo I'm so edgy but trusting the One who knows what my future days will hold. I woke up in the middle of the night last week with all of this swirling in my mind and wishing that on the first day of school I had a baby on my hip and this scripture popped into my head.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11
I felt instant peace.
One thing I know for sure is that marriage and motherhood is my career. I'm grateful to have been a teacher for all of those years. But looking back now I feel like it was a 'holding place' for me until my babies came. One day, perhaps, I'll open a classroom door again; but for now I want to be with my girls when they get home from school. It's as simple as that.
Forgive my ramblings. I'll be better by next Thursday when I'm IN my new normal.
For now... a few pictures from this week that are my favorites. Meet Leah and Maddie... sisters who live a few towns away. I met them at their school for a little back to school photo shoot. It was a fun night. The mosquitoes had a blast too! :)