This song came out the year Anna was home for her first Christmas. I remember the first time Scott had heard it and played it for me. I sobbed and listened to this song again and again and again. Most of the time dancing with Anna in my arms around around our living room, thanking God that she was home.
Anna missed her first Christmas. I am quite certain that she was in a crib all day long and night on December 25th 2003. I'm quite certain she was hungry and had given up hurting from lack of love. I am quite certain that she by then, had shut down.
She was six months old. I don't have a picture of my first baby's first Christmas. But I did love her, from a world away.
Each year Third Day is Scott's soundtrack for doing the lights. They take him all evening. And we hear these songs again. I forget each year that this song is on the CD. And each year one teeny tiny note brings me right back.
Right back to that feeling of me being 31. It was 2004 and Anna was now 18 months and it was her first Christmas. And still now after all of these years I am so so grateful that she is home.