Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Mothering

Today I slept in til 6 am.

Usually my feet are on the floor at 4:20 (I was mentored by the best... at getting putting rise into rise and shine)  and 4:20 is perfect because a day without this... is not a day.

But Abigail kept me up and up and up and up and up the night before so I was wiped I tell you.

So last night I turned off the 4:20 alarm and decided to sleep in with just enough time.

The sleeping in was just what I needed.   Wonderful I tell you!

But it can't happen every day.

Now on to Abigail.

Sigh... or deep breath... or both before I start.

It seems each September we have a rough patch with our little Abigail.  It's the beginning of a new school year and there are adjustments for her to make.  She's not a little grown up.  She's a child.  And if adjustments are tricky for grown ups (which they are) they are extra hard to navigate if you are a child.  That I know.

There was this in Kindergaten. (but Kinderland turned out to be a magical, wonderful year with this enchanting teacher)

Then there was this last September.  (but then that year turned out to be another year of love with leaps and bounds of learning mixed in)

See the pattern?

The good thing is that I know there's a pattern.

Next year I'll say, then there was Second grade (but then that turned out to be etc. etc etc, right?)

But so far this year we're still in the adjustment part.

I knew it was coming.  But I forgot.

A few nights ago my perfect sleeper sobbed and sobbed in her bed.  When I went in to check on her she blurted out, "it's just so hard.  I can't sleep alone night after night after night....!!!!!"

She acted devastated like I'd just moved her out of her sisters room for life.  But she's always been in her own room.  And she's always had no problems sleeping.  So I held her and tucked her back in and kissed her and prayed with her and kissed her and hugged her and lay down with her and kissed her (you get the idea)  And turned on Raffi again so that it would start again.

And left.  She was fine.

But then she sobbed.

All of that part two.

Finally Scott (daddy magic we call him) lay down with her and she was so exhausted she fell asleep.

Until the middle of the night when she had a bad dream.  I scooped her up in our bed and she cuddled with me.  She was trembling it was such a bad dream.

Now the next night.  Just go up and read that all over again.  And again.  (are you tired yet?)

Scott and I sat down in the kitchen with our tea talking about her last night.  "I wonder what is up with her..."

And then Scott said (and he was clearly the better parent last night because 'why didn't I think of that?')  "she's had a lot of changes.  Second grade is 'real' work.  Less fun and more school.  There is more homework and it's actually hard.  Anna isn't there this year. So she doesn't bump into Anna during the day or get out of the car with Anna in the morning.  And there's hardly any volunteering in the classroom when you get up into second grade."

1

Bingo!

I lived in that Kinder classroom.  And first grade too!  With Second grade I volunteered for parties and holidays but there were no centers or regular things.  School changes in second grade.  I'll be there for the winter, valentines day, end of the year parties.  But not every Tuesday and Thursday to help with math centers.

I still get into her school weekly to have lunch with her.  And it's lovely.  But there are still changes for this little girl.  And when you're seven, it's hard.

I know I can email her teacher to come in to read a book to the class.  I'm sure she'd let me help out here and there.  I think I'll do that.  I know it'll help.

But for now we'll keep loving her through the beginning of the year.  She's on a little 'focus' chart in school (deep sigh) for concentrating on her work and working in a more timely manner.  It bothers her that she's on one.

She's still crying every night and never wanting to be alone.

So we'll love her through like we always do.  And for now I know that adjustments and not having your sister there all the time is plain old hard.


1 comment:

  1. Oh my friend...
    My heart is aching for your heart.
    Because I know how much it hurts a mommy's heart when one of her babies is sad.
    You keep on doing what you do.
    And Scott is right.
    Second grade is indeed different...
    It seems as if someone decided that those littles aren't so little anymore.
    Even though we know for certain they are.
    Hugs and love, my friend.

    ReplyDelete

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