Video ~ This Is The New Year...

Here's the link to last years...

And this one was from when Anna was in First Grade!

The Big Birthday Post

It's kind of funny that I'm calling this "The Big Birthday Post".  It was a big birthday in that it was his big 4 -0 one.  But it was just a little party (just the four of us) and he was barely awake for it.  The first two days of school under his belt and he's emotionally, physically, mentally exhausted.  I kept telling the girls during present opening to wake him up.  And you know I love to have BIG parties like this. And this.



You know I adore this one.  Any little girl who looks like that at her daddy... I swoon




But it was still fun, and it was still sweet.  The girls gave him their cards and little gifts they made during the last week of summer vacation.  And a few little things we picked up in Disney World for daddy! 









But then mine... Oh I was over the moon excited about this gift.  I heard this song a while back and it got me thinking.  Oh, of how much I love him.  Of how much I'm grateful to be his other half.  And how sometimes I don't always 'choose' him above other things (okay, the girls)  I'm not good at leaving the girls.  I'm really really really bad at it.  Our dates are always at home.  Maybe once a year we actually have a grandparent watch and go out to dinner or something.  And the whole time, whole time I'm hating it.  So really, it's just not worth it.  So we make the best of this home loving girl I am and have date nights after bedtime.  ~ So when this 40th was coming up I knew that I wanted to give him something that was hard for me.  And time, dates away without the girls, that's hard for me. 

So here's the gift. 









And so even though I can't believe that I just got myself into this... 12 dates I'm glad I did it.  Something tells me he doesn't actually believe that this will happen.  Ya see he was there when I was sobbing to come home from my honeymoon in Hawaii because I missed my mom and dad.  But this time I'm going to do it. 



It was the end of the second day of school... pure exhaustion...


One date, once a month. I choose you. I choose you! I really could live by the light in your eyes. I will become yours and you'll become mine. My whole heart will be yours forever. I choose you. I choose you. I am willing and even better, I get to be the other half of you!


PS ~ I told him that there was one condition for these dates.... I get to bring my little camera :)

The Quiet Life

Okay so it was a great first day of school.  Once I got over the crying and settled into my day I kind of enjoyed myself.  Cooking dinner at 10 am makes me happy.  We had all of their favorites... it was a feast I tell ya.  And I'm kind of loving the organized day and house instead of the 'loosy goosey' summer schedule and house.  It just all feels good; as long as I don't think about how much I miss them!

And hearing them at dinner all talking about their first day.  Oh my, it's like Christmas to me.  Even Scott is filled with first day stories.  (although his are not quite as exciting as Abigail's)

I don't have a lot of time tonight to post since it's Scott's 40th birthday!!! I've got a few surprises up my sleeves that I can't wait to give him!  (I'll share tomorrow)  It's going to be super fun!  Here is my song for him today.  I heard it and thought of him.  I choose you; I love you.

Here's to the good parts of back to school! 

Roses that daddy brought home to surprise the girls with on their first day of school.  Oh it melted my heart!

Dark Sunglasses on the First Day

Pancake puffs and a note from Daddy




Just before leaving


There's only one first day of First Grade!






In her red as always... a symbol of where she's from and how much we love China






I wear my big, dark sunglasses because I know how I'll be.  I wonder if it's that it's the first day of school or the end of summer.  As I walk away from the school (without them) I can feel my heart start to ache.  I see people ahead of me that I know and I'm thinking oh please God, don't let them say hi to me or the flood of tears will come. 



I don't know why but it's just as bad as the day I dropped her off at preschool all those years ago.  The ache, the empty heart, the shaky hands, the tears welling up in my eyes.  Only difference is now I know so I can wear those big dark sunglasses. 

Walking hand in hand for the last time... next year they'll be at different schools. 


I fuss with something in my camera bag pretending I don't see that group in front of me.  I walk a little bit slower because if one person says to me, "hey Tara, how are you?"  in their happy sing song voice I won't be able to hold it in any longer.  I don't want to cry.  They are fifth and first graders.  They are happy (a kind of nervous excited apprehensive happy) and I am happy for them. 

Here we are at the Flag Raising Ceremony.  Hot, crowded, overwhelming, but kinda cool too


There were faces like these...




Is it because I'm excited for them?  Is it that I'm proud of them?  Is it that the house is too quiet or that the list is too long and I actually have to do it because I'm not mommy "on" til that end of school bell.  I think it's all of it.  All rolled into one.  I'm a crazy, miss my kids, love my kids, love my life, happy, tearful mom.  I'm the same girl who sobbed, sobbed big ugly cries in Hawaii on her honeymoon into her sweet new young husbands arms because I missed my mom and dad. 

She'll be mad at me for this one some day... but my posts are always so serious... nose picker during My Country Tis of Thee...




I actually think I've come to terms with it.  This is just how I'll always be.  Weather it's the first day of kindergarten or the first day of college.  I'll want to be there feeling these feelings, being me.  My heart feels sometimes like it will burst from my love for them.  So when a new year starts and in all it's flag raising, My Country Tis of Thee singing, Disney-like marching music walking ining (now that's a new word) it hits me.  They are one step, but what feels like one giant leap, older.  They are one giant leap further away from being babies.  One giant leap closer to being grown up.  One giant leap out of (or is it further into) childhood. 

And there were faces like this too. I know this one well.


Okay, you may think 'that lady is crazy'.  I guess what I'm saying is that I am.  And that's okay because with the I don't want them to grow up crazies come the most loving feelings a mommy could ever have.  You can't have one so deep without tears in the other. 

Wave goodbye to your mom. 


Off they go my sweet girls.  One day they'll read this an laugh.  Or perhaps they'll say, "yes that was my mom.  She hasn't changed a bit.  Mom, it's my last day of college, don't forget your big, dark sunglasses." 



Huge speakers blasting a sort of feels like you're on Main Street at Disney World song. That song gets me every time.  Adds the emotion for sure.   


Top of the school.




Do ya think I can wear those at their weddings? 

The Night Before First Grade

Dear Abigail,

You are our little joy; our darling.  With just a dash of spunk and a whole lot of sweetness you are our special blessing from above.  Oh how excited you are for tomorrow.  You love school.  You "love, love, love" your teachers.  You are a good friend and a smart student.  It's that lovely smile of yours and especially your caring ways.  You just seem to know when someone needs a little extra love, and you're always there to give it.  I'm so proud of you Abigail.

I know that it's hard for you sometimes to be different because of your EoE disease but with your allergies you've become compassionate, strong, and sensitive.  These are all qualities that no one could ever teach you.  You learned them all on your own. 

This is going to be a wonderful year.   Last week when I was a bit sad that summer was winding down daddy said to me, "but you love first grade.  Remember, a reader is about to be born."  Oh yes, with the little books you're reading now and the love for learning that you have in you I know that this year will be one to blossom and grow. 

Try your best this year, be a sweet friend, smile, laugh and love each and every day.  I'll be missing you oh so much and I can't wait to see your happy face tomorrow at the end of the day. 

xoxoxoxo ~mommy

PS~  please remember not to eat tree nuts, peanuts, soy, fish, or any dairy ~

The Night Before Fifth Grade

Dear Anna,

So here we are again. It's the night before the first day of school. In some ways it seems like we've been doing this for a long time. And in other ways I can't imagine how you're not still on my hip as I carry your around.

When I looked at the pictures of you tonight there was something different. That really little girl is disappearing quickly into such a beautiful young lady. Fifth grade! Fifth grade! There were days that I never thought you'd ever have a first day of school without crying. Now I know that tomorrow not a tear will silently trickle down your cheeks as they used to. It's hard to put into words how proud I am of you and how you've grown and found ways to love us and others. You've filled my heart to overflowing; I just love you so much.

I loved being with you and watching you this summer. Oh what a marvelous big sister you are. Your little mei mei adores you and you really are best friends. I think you've been together every minute since that last day of school. I love the way you play with her. We have lots of happy memories from this summer tucked away to keep forever.

Be brave tomorrow sweet girl. And as you told me tonight, "the angles will watch over me." Yes they will. (Psalm 91) And I love what you highlighted in your devotional tonight, "don't be afraid to be different; it doesn't matter what other people think. Just stay on the path of Life with Me - trusting Me with all your heart." Galations 5:22-23

I love you and adore you Anna Jiang Qian.  I can't wait to see your smiling face as you walk out that school door at the end of the day.  ~ mommy

Childhood

I love Connecticut!


Celebrating Anna's adoption Day last week.  She chose a family picnic.  Doesn't surprise me.  Just tonight when I asked her what she'd like to do for her last day of summer she was quick to say, "a picnic at lunch time." 



Disney World is great.  Disney World is a wonderful place to make memories.  But so is this park just a half mile from our house. And it's beautiful.

We picnic on a little "clearing" in the woods.  A pink quilt is just the special touch we need. 



We walk to their little "island".  Only big enough for one of them at a time.



"Watch your head on that branch Abigail"


I watch as Daddy helps them jump on and off their island.  I'm quiet and just take it all in.  - Childhood.  Childhood memories; our little family making memories right here just a half mile from our house.  Right here in New England. 





That face... or was it a song and dance? I can't remember.


Oh Abigail.  You are such a joy!






It seems simple really.  Savor these days.   We tell each other all the time that we're living in the days that we'll look back and cherish.  What a gift it is to know that right here in the here and now. 







So summer winds down.  And school is just a day away.  I closed Anna's door tonight and she whispered through it, "happy almost last day of summer." 

Oh my how I love this girl!


And what a summer it was.  Right here in our house.  Just a half mile up the street at the park, At Disney and Boston.  It was filled with wonderful, happy memories.  And I am thankful.