It's Not About Perfection, It's About Heart ~ new goals

This (above) photo was from this blog post back in 2013 and in that post I wrote "This is all I ever wanted for my birthday. Oh to be a mother." 

In some ways it feels like it's slipping away. And that is a horrible feeling. My head knows that is not the case. I am not "done" but my heart wants to hold Abigail on my hip and dress Anna in ankle socks. 

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I just turned 48. I'm not a 'birthday person'. It's not that I don't like growing older, that number 48 or the way things age doesn't bother me one tiny bit. I truly could care less. I just don't love all of the 'fan fair' that goes along with a birthday. Sometimes I feel bad for those that love me and want to celebrate January 5th. My parents, my husband, my daughters. So I let them shower me with love. And I do enjoy the extra love. 

Every milestone feels like the right time to reevaluate my goals. It just happens that my birthday is so close to New Years that it sounds like "New Years Resolutions" - but it's not. 

There are other mile markers throughout the year: 

• spring and lent, 
• when school is out for summer, 
• at summer's close when a school year is just about to start, 
• just before Advent, 

Those all seem to be great times to look at my priorities. I heard once someone say, "How do you keep your priorities straight all the time?" "Well, I don't. I have to reprioritize over and over again." 

And so that is what my birthday/New Years, spring, summer, fall, advent are for me: time to stop and look at what I'm spending my time on. 

I like to ask myself questions:

• are the activities I spend most of my time on fruitful or can something be trimmed down?
• am I being efficient at teaching, planning and all things related to work?
• at the tasks that are part of everyday (laundry, meal prep, food planning, cleaning, ironing, etc) done in the least amount of time to save time for other things in my heart? 
• am I taking care of my daughter's hearts? 
• am I pouring into their lives? 
• am I spending too much time exercising or is it a healthy amount? 
• am I getting enough sleep? (for sure not!!! ever!!!) 
• What do I hope my legacy will be? 
• on and on

I find that some extra long quiet time with my notebook, pen, and Bible are just what I need to find the answers to those questions and other things God has put on my heart. 

And then I change things around, make new plans - it gives me just what I need to motivate myself to make changes. 

Above all I want to be the kind of woman that God has created me to be. 

And I'm living it out in home, family, work, in every way 

It's not about perfection, it's about heart. I know by now that perfection is something that robs us of a joy filled moment. If it's about my heart, then it lets others in. 

Truly, I want to see myself moving toward more of the person I want to be... 

and each day I want to take baby steps forward in the areas of those goals.