Sometimes when I'm in my day, doing my 'job' I forget how significant it really can be. What I offer my family, what I give of me, how i structure their days, even what I cook matters.
They are so good; such sweet girls but they need so much from me. So much that I want to give. Time, time, time, and love, love, love over and over again. Love is not about me, it's about them.
It's easy for me to want the baby days back. The baby on my hip and making sure I had enough diapers in my bag before I left the house. Maybe it's not about a baby on my hip as much as wanting to be home forever. But I trust in the One that knows what is best for me, my life. He knows that this forging and new territory with two school aged girls (and my oldest leaving elementary school in June) has me on some days confused and wondering, even worried about the 'next step'. But it's not about me. It's about Him. His plan, His goodness, His presence in our home. He'll direct if we let Him. He guide if we hold His hand. Love is not about me, it's about Him.
Yesterday when Scott was at his school until after bedtime (again) and I had two sick girls at home I was weary. I felt all of the regular Wednesday 'to dos' that I wanted to get to mounting. And I couldn't even get to the grocery store. I worried about Valentines day (now that's silly) and if I could pull off all of my ideas for pink pancakes, carrying their classmates Valentines in perfect baskets tied with pink bows, a romantic dinner for two after bedtime, how could I do it all... when a friend gently reminded me to 'just do the girls'. And all became clear. Because that's all the girls really want. They want me. All of that 'other stuff' is nice and yes, they even like it... a lot. But love is not about me, it's about them.
I need this reminder so often that the 'good old days' are today. And when I stop doing and just enjoy the being I can feel His presence and such a calm comes over me. He reminds me again ..."tara, it's not about you. Love, is about them."
How fortunate I am; how very grateful I am to be a mother. It is the greatest gift and joy in my life. My marriage and my motherhood. And when I'm weary or when I'm worried I must remember that it's all about love and not about me.
And oh this song... I love it!