Wednesday, November 1, 2017

He is Faithful Still

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I got a message from a dear friend today saying that she lost someone dear to her. My heart broke for the grief that she and her family would have to walk through.

My own dear mother is walking through the unthinkable. Fighting for her life. Beating cancer. For us. All of us.

Today I walked from the family waiting room in the Children's Hospital to the the hallway where Abigail's doctor had a 'this is not good' look on his face.

He took me into the meeting room (never good) and told me about her inflamed esophagus. Her furrows, her possible infection in her esophagus. The damage, the irritation, the constricting tube her food has to pass through.

An explanation for the pain she is in. Daily pain she is in.

But horrible, terrible news to say the least.

My heart broke for my baby girl as he showed me a photo of the inside of her esophagus. It was textbook bad Eosinophilic Esophogus
Can't it ever be better? Can't God ever take away the daily pain? She's only 10 and has been in pain for 10 years.

I didn't have the heart to tell her until way later in the afternoon. Tell her that the medicine that makes her nauseous would be more than doubled.

She didn't say a word.

But later this afternoon I saw her from across the bedroom looking at the photo of the inside of her esophagus and she bowed her head and sobbed.

I held her and she cried and cried to me what she only lets out barely. "It's just not fair".

Not it's not fair.

Tonight we were all sitting at dinner. She was laughing so loud. I don't even remember why.

Tonight when Scott went to drive Anna to orchestra she was putting princess stickers and coloring a paper. And humming this song.

I couldn't believe it.

She believes no matter what comes her way.

Great is His faithfulness.

A peace that endureith.

Yes, in 10 year old pain, yes in deep deep grief my friend is about to walk through, yes, in the chemo and the radiation. He is there. He is still faithful. He will use this to His glory.

I love you Abigail.
I love you Mom.
I love you my friend.

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5 comments:

  1. Keeping her in my prayers....

    Blessings,
    Jill

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  2. Oh Tara,
    Thank you.
    And prayers for you as well!
    For your baby girl.
    For your dear mother.
    For your tender heart.
    Together, though the miles separate us, we will do this together.

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  3. I have followed your blog for a long timebut have never left a comment before. I find your writing and pictures inspirational in my parenting journey (I have four kids). The reason i wanted to comment is that my heart is going out to you with your daughter's EoE journey. I have found a lot of personal success using naturopathic methods for my health and wonder if you have considered some naturopathic treatments for EoE? One in particular - acupuncture allergy elimination has seemed to help a good number of children who seem to be allergic to everything. Additionally, there is a specific allergy elimination technique called NAET that some have had success with. Supplement wise - curcumin (from the spice turmeric), slippery elm, marshmallow root, boswellia are all natural anti inflammatories. Glutamine is used in naturopathic medicine to heal the lining of the intestine. Lastly - Naturopathic physicians offer food allergy testing that is a bit different than an allopathic physician. They test the blood for the IgG response to over 100 foods/spices/etc. and can determine what foods are may be most problematic for their patients. I know this is a lot of information but I just wanted to throw it out there for you to consider. You are an amazing mother!

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  4. So many hugs and prayers for you and your family. My heart goes out to your sweet Abigail and your mom and no Abigail sometimes it just isn't fair at all :(

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  5. Awe! This is so hard in so many ways. God's grace will continue to carry you all through. Hopefully, you may come across or find some other medication be it natural or not, that will help alleviate the negative side effects.

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