Weekending

It is Sunday night and my heart is so full - to the brim. 

I keep track in a planner of things that I need to focus on: my faith, my family, etc. I need simple action steps and although I don't think a planner solves problems I need baby steps. And this weekend we got the opportunity to do so many things that fill my weekend with joy joy joy. 

I have very little pictures but one full heart. 

Friday 

Coming home 

Saturday

Listening

It was J.S. Bach's birthday celebration 

Sunday

Visiting

Mass at Anna's church 

I just love this very holy place so much

We have so much fun visiting Anna at Holy Cross - 

There was so much more to this weekend that filled my heart. But this little post will spark a memory some day when I look back and all of the joy. 

Sunday Ponderings - on creating beauty

Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Psalm 34:8 

My weekend and my weeks can be filled with joy, perfectly balanced with all of the things 

with love, 

joy, 

what seems like just enough teaching and just enough time in my home- 

unless they are not. 

There are weekends and weeks that are just hard - 

exhaustion

worry

fear

concern  

It is that way with all of us. There are seasons. And sometimes there are just those kind of days. 

I believe that in those times holding on to a sense of order and loveliness is essential. I do believe that it is easier to walk through challenging days or painful seasons if it can be in a lovely environment. 

Where does this idea come from? Well, from God. He is the ultimate artist. Out of a void of nothing he created order and beauty. The blue skies with puffy white clouds, tulips just coming up, green leaves on trees... 

I believe that one simple way to combat stress, to combat discouragement, to combat exhaustion, to combat fear is creating small spaces of beauty. 

Framed photos of memories to hold on to, 

an inexpensive bouquet of flowers in a vase, 

magazines that are pretty to look at, 

books piled on shelves and in baskets, 

pretty vintage dishes and tea cups waiting and calling for a quiet, still moment.

a basket filled with fruit, 

a favorite mug, 

A perfect house to combat difficult days? Certainly not. But order, and just a little place that speaks beauty. 

Yes, I will always believe. 

A book, with beautiful paintings for reflection, I am recommending this week is: 

The Brace

We had an appointment today with the the prosthetics department at the Bone and Joint Institute. 

They took an x-ray of her in the brace and were able to see areas that could be strengthened with some small adjustments to the brace. 

It's truly amazing what the x-ray showed.  - where the pins and attachments are and what part of her hip, shoulder, spine are affected. They took off a bit of the height so that it could be pulled up and off her hip a bit. Perhaps this will make it more comfortable for her (if that's possible). 

I am so grateful for the technicians at the Bone and Joint Institute and the prosthetics department - so careful, caring, compassionate with Abigail and us. 

The best news of all is that it is beginning to work! It won't cure scoliosis; there is no cure. And her spine will go back to the place that it was at before we started the brace (which will allow her to live a normal, healthy life). The brace actually moves her spine to hold it in place while she is growing so that the curve doesn't worsen. It's difficult to explain and I am leaning so much. 

Abigail would probably add to this post that the truly best news of all is that she gets to sleep without her brace for two night in a row, the night before her doctor appointment next month. He wants to see how her spine reacts to two nights of no brace and how far back the spine goes. She is counting the days until two full nights of real sleep! (I am too!) 

Sunday Ponderings - a heart to heart

Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11

We talk to Anna every day. On Thursday night she asked me, "can we have a heart to heart this weekend"? 

I knew she needed more time with me; not just a 'what was for dinner', 'how were your classes today' chat. 

It doesn't always mean something is wrong - it is more often that she is pondering something or sensing a sift in her life and needs to talk through it. It can be a mood she's feeling...

Whatever it is she is searching for wisdom. 

How grateful I am that she comes to me. That she ultimately seeks wisdom from God, and she comes to me knowing that I will pour into her. 

I don't have all of the answers, she knows that. She doesn't come for an 'answer'. She comes for my spiritual perspective. She comes to me to glean from what I might know. 

How do I prepare for these such 'heart to hearts'? 

It's years really. I can't 'prepare'. My preparation to meet my eighteen year old's heart happened year after faithful year of getting up and spending time in God's Word, in prayer, with my own heart open to God each day for what He might be teaching me. In a bathrobe and messy hair, when it was dark out and everyone was sleeping. It was when I was 20 and 23 and 34 and 42 and 49. Day after day, year after year in prayer or with a devotional. My notebooks filled cover to cover with those early mornings and what I learned. 

I often don't go back to those notebooks. There really is no way I could search for a topic for a verse that way in a 'heart to heart' with Anna. I need wisdom in my own heart. Sometimes a verse will come right to me and I can look up the part I've forgotten, sometimes I just have a 'knowing' of what to say. But I always listen, listen, listen, especially when she starts off. And then listen some more. 

And then I share what I can. I always go into these specific conversations with prayer and God always meets me with words for her; often ministering to myself as well as Anna. 

We always close in prayer on the phone together. I love the feeling of hearing her voice lifted from our talk. And always late that night Anna will text me with a thank you. 

Anna is quickly becoming my very best friend {after Scott}. And these 'heart to hearts' are truly a dream {prayer} come true for me. 

I know that Anna coming to me asking for a heart to heart didn't just happen because she is away at college. It didn't happen by accident. Knowing she could come to me came from seventeen years of shaping our family. Because she grew up steeped in the tradition of the Church, in scripture and truth, in beautiful and lifegiving practices, a sacrificial example of love at home, she has carried those virtues with her and knows that she can tap into those in a simple phone call we call a heart to heart. 

A book I'm recommending this week is: 

Our Prayer Table: March

March is such a simple month. Long for teaching (there are no vacation days, no holidays, usually no more snow days). But I love the simplicity of it. 

For us it is the liturgical season of lent so although our days are very much still very full, our focus has shifted. For our little family we are working toward a few personal things for lent, areas to draw us closer to the Lord. 

At a Mass we attended recently, the homily gave us this acronym. 

M.A.P.S.

M = mortification (the act of giving something up - mortify or deaden sinful nature) (giving up complaining, giving up comparison, etc)

A = almsgiving (giving to others in need - time, energy, heart) 

P = prayer (finding more time, even for a  little extra, to pray) 

S = sacraments (reconciliation, eucharist) 

This acronym has been helpful for me this lent. 

I am actually so looking forward to my Easter prayer table and have some ideas for even May but for now, still simple is March. 

Real flowers whenever I can, a petite Mary statue, and this saint quote focuses us in this small area of our home. 

"Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you." ~ Saint Augustine of Hippo 

The Last Supper was a gift from my parents when they went to Italy.  

Looking Back

Oh my, this from 2014, the Saint Patrick's Day parade in Hartford. Can I just do this day one more time? Please, to be with little Abigail... look at my little red head darling. 

Here are a few posts of Saint Patrick's Day

2011

2013 parade 

2014 parade 

2015

2016 parade

2017

2018 parade 

Anna Came Home - Anna's Back

Oh my goodness. Anna came home last week for her spring break. (we were all in school here - in Connecticut our spring break isn't until April) 

It was my parent - teacher conference week so it was a tired week for me but it was so lovely to have her at home. Oh everything felt so right. 

And what felt like just as she came home, she was back. 

We decided to drive her back later on Sunday so that we could all be together all day. So we went out to dinner and then to Mass at Saint Joseph Memorial Chapel on campus. It was a stunning Mass. Really so different than Mass on campus when I was in college. Our Masses were more 'casual', and this was the opposite, so formal. It was filled with college students, and that was so encouraging to our world that the youth of our Church was at Mass. Oh to be 18 again! 

Anna will be home again for Holy Easter and we just can't wait! 

Our Prayer Table: February

Oh howdy, it's already March but I really want all of these on this blog of mine - mostly so I can remember how I decorated and what I can't find next year. 

This place continues to be a place of calm delight for us. It is also (honestly) a place where we wait for Abigail to finish brushing her teeth so we can start her growth hormone shot and her brace. 

I love that it is a visual reminder to Church, our faith, and it calls us to prayer. 

So here is the prayer table in February: 

Anna was back at college and I wanted a simple reminder to pray the rosary for her. A little touch of a green plant, and a sign... 

Winter into Spring into Winter

After he finished his tea and toast, Walter thought he'd see what kind of day it was outside. 

Sunday Ponderings

It sunny and bright today. And extremely windy and cold. While our neighborhood always has someone walking, running, biking, there is no one out. Even the dog walkers I don't see. It's the kind of day with ice under our feet crunching in little piles. 

I took the extra heater out of our mudroom on Friday after school because I was tired of cleaning around it. That little extra heater keeps our kitchen table area cozy and warm. I think I took it out too soon. 

This week it will also be in up to 58. March is always like this. 

I choose to enjoy the warmer days but also these deeply winter days. My heart doesn't wrestle for what's next. 

This week we will be just three again at home, with Anna headed back to college after her spring break week. It was lovely to have her here. For those of you that have college kids, you know. For those of you that don't yet, you will. When Anna is home it feels like it is supposed to in this old house. The sounds, the chatter, the presence - just feels right. But we will adjust, again. And we will talk on the phone every single day until she comes home for Easter. There will I'm sure be a visit to Holy Cross before then as well. 

This week I will teach my class of fourth graders, work hard, be tired, be grateful, workout, have my prayer times, spend time with Abigail, read to her, be with her, guide her. I will cook and prep for the next day. I will clean where I can. I will get not enough quite enough sleep (homework of a high schooler and a brace, shot, and meds that must come after that). With all of that I know that my time in prayer, my prayer table/home alter, my devotionals, my Bible are what anchor me. And I have strength and peace for the moments when I need them. Walking in His will is such a good, sacred place to be. This is the season that I am in and I know I am in the right place. 

Wishing you a peaceful, beautiful week ahead. 

Psalm 40:1-4

I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord, and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me out of a horrible pit and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings. And He has put a new song in my heart, a song of praise to our God. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his refuge and trust, and turns not to the proud or to followers of false gods. 

My thoughts: 

steadying according to Webster's dictionary: to make or become firm, stable, not shaky, constant in behavior, calm and controlled, reliable. 

In my time with God, in my prayer time, my Bible reading time, my thoughts focused on God time, God makes my steps:

1. firm
2. stable
3. constant in behavior
4. calm
5. controlled
6. reliable

Happy Sunday! 

Loving: 

This book - on my third year going through, I still love and still wish I had from the moment I was a new mama. But I still glean so much wisdom from it as the mama of a 14 and 18 year old. 

Your Life Matters Right Where You Are

What is important? 

Little things we are doing - faithfulness to love 

to bless and kiss before bedtime

to pray to God when we wake up in the morning

to cook one more meal

to write one more note of encouragement

It is all the little things that we are doing that are going to matter to this next generation

Create peace in the midst of a culture that is in upheaval 

Be faithful in small things because that is where your strength lies. 

Luke 16:10 He who is faithful in very little things is faithful in much

"Oh I Love Orchestra So Much"

A few weeks ago Anna called me on her way back from orchestra one night. It was late but we always talk on her way back to her dorm. 

She was all lit up inside and I could feel her peace and happiness. She said to me, "mama, I love orchestra so much." She could barely put into words really why, but I knew. 

Orchestra has been and always will be the perfect place for Anna. It is her thing. Even just her first time in the fall when she opened her viola case and slid out her viola for the first time at Holy Cross, she felt so connected. 

She went on that night when she called me to tell me that she loved her stand partner and how nice she was - and all of the people in the orchestra are just so fun, inviting, and good to her. 

Even more than that I know that music is her way of connecting with the college that she loves. It is her place, and I am grateful. 

Last week we had the honor of attending a Holy Cross orchestra concert. It was a Wednesday. After a long day of teaching we headed up there after dinner. But pulling onto that campus feels a bit like home to me; funny really because I've never lived there. But I know so deeply that Anna is supposed to be there that to this mama's heart, it feels a bit like home to even me. 

The concert was magnificent and I sat on the edge of my seat. Happy that my Mom and Dad were able to attend. It was a Broadway and Silver Screens concert. Anna's orchestra played: 

Highlights from Harry Potter

Downton Abbey

Theme for Schindler's List

West Side Story 

Here is a video from that night that was posted. I hope to go to many many more concerts over the years. 
 

A Little Sunshine

It is supposed to snow a bit all day tomorrow. 

But in my mud room it is springtime. 

A vintage lantern I found at an antique store in Vermont, a strawberry cloth, a little duck Abigail picked out for me a few years ago... 

This book I love so much - it's sectioned into seasons which makes it delightful for picking up when you are looking forward to the next season. 

I filled the top with peaches and candles in mason jars. 

And this canvas print from our trip to Hawaii for our twenty-fifth. 

Simple, sweet, spring!