Friday, February 9, 2018

10 Thoughts on a Friday (2)


I've never gone that long without blogging. And when I'm not blogging I feel like I don't have a 'reason' to take photos. (but of course I do, I'm just not motivated to even click with my phone if I don't a have 'place to put them') So here I am after almost two weeks of not blogging. I've been busy taking care of my sweet girls, getting Anna through her first high school midterms, getting Abigail through major EoE pain this past season (more back here) (she wakes up in such pain every single day these days "mommy I can't take the pain anymore.... it's awful to endure as a parent) (her pain throughout the day is not any better, I can see her one moment just fine and then "it drops" and her pain is instant; I can see it on her face), I've been busy taking care of my 19 4th graders, teaching my heart out, loving it but exhausted from it, planning at night, assessing their levels mid year, making plans for them. I've been busy still thank goodness fighting for balance in my life: God time before dawn, workout at 8:15 pm. And that's all that's fit, so here I am almost two weeks later. Phew!


I have a really chatty class. Really great class, but it's hard for them to focus even for a 10 minute mini lesson. I'm constantly working through different idea/systems in my mind to find just the right one that will help them. I'm a huge advocate of Responsive Classroom (Scott introduced me). Still, it's constant work all day long to be that teacher they need.


I have the confidence as a teacher with parents that I never had before. I would be so nervous if I had to call a parent for any reason when I was the 29 year old teacher. Now I call all the time and I'm perfectly comfortable. I like that.


I'm thinking through our weekend and our plans. They consist of Mass and that's it. Scott will work all weekend on tiling the girls bathroom. Yes, we are still going strong on that bathroom we hoped to have done by September 1st 2017! Anna will work all weekend on studying just like she did last weekend. She has orchestra on Saturday and a viola group class. That leaves Abigail and I. Lately it's been a lot of just Abigail and I, and we spend our time at home. Sometimes I feel guilty that we don't get out there and do more. But then I shove that feeling aside and we just stay home. Like all weekend. We'll venture out for Mass and that's it. I need time in this home of ours to reset me. Sometimes I think, oh maybe I could take her to that craft store she has a gift card to and I could look at a few clothing stores but then we end up staying home playing games, doing laundry, reading on my bed together. Someday Abigail will be Anna; studying for mid term exams. I love elementary school before all of that pressure starts. I'm soaking that in.


I love Anna at night. She is funny, and witty, and clever. She is fun to talk to and has changed so much. The little girl~ness isn't there as it used to but I sure do like being with the 14 year old Anna. I'm so so tired at night (soooo not a night person) and after teaching all day and mommying all afternoon I'm ready to sleep when Anna is at her best. But many nights I stay up just to have that one sweet conversation with her. She has good ideas and good advice. And sharing this part of life with her has been a delight.


I don't watch TV.  At all.  Sometimes Scott and I will cuddle on the couch on a weekend and watch a Hallmark seasonal movie.  Because they are dumb.  Because there is only a kiss at the end.  Because I can believe that they don't live together.  Because I can pretend that they'll get engaged or married before things that happen in other shows or movies.  I don't know why I'm like that.  I am surrounded by so many young teachers that live with their boyfriends.  And I have no problem.  Their life.  I don't feel any hint of judgment from their decisions.  I just hate it on TV.  So I stay away.  I don't watch 'seasons' of shows on Netflix either.  Gilmore girls, This is Us, Parenthood.. any another... I've seen none of them.  Don't judge me.  I hate them.  And I hate the idea that I'd have to see another and another and another.  In general I'm pretty careful about how much time I'm front of a screen.  Being back in the classroom makes it easy.  I love that my days are in front of children.


Our children are very time consuming. And we love it. And we couldn't imagine our life any other way. Anna has so many issues relating to her 18 months in a orphanage. They've rocked her world and ours. Forever. There is so so so much good in it. And we are humbled that God chose us to walk beside her in the hard, the ugly, and the painful. Because it means that we have her in love, deep connection, and what feels like the coolest kid alive.


Abigail is struggling with pain each and every single day. And has since she was a baby. She is scheduled for an endoscopy this Friday. (reminder: I need to schedule a substitute for my class) She is not become obsessed with pain. Something Scott and I are thinking a lot about and praying hard too. Her food making is time consuming and so is eating out. But she is the light of our lives; so much fun, so cheerful, so sweet.


Home. It feels so good that it's Friday and we are home for the weekend, mostly. I love the 'feel' of the weekend. The pace. Even if there are things to do (and there is a great big list this weekend: my midyear goals are due - that's hours, we have to get Anna all registered for her Sophomore classes - AP Biology, woah!, and Valentines Day... not ready yet


Our two fireplaces are going all. the. time. when we are home. I like to keep the house nice and cozy. And I like to keep the room (viola room/living room) that Noel is in nice and warm. I love the fireplaces and although summer is great I'm a winter girl. And if I could keep it fireplace weather all year round I would.

1 comment:

  1. #5 - yes! Teenagers come ALIVE at night! Ha ha ha!
    #6 - Ditto. Nor do I want my kids to see it and think it is okay.
    #7 - Truth. And right when you have one on calmer waters, another one needs some much-needed attention. And it doesn't end. :)