Anna's Graduation Party

I woke up with deep sadness in my heart today - mixed with deep gratitude - mixed with deep joy. While I wanted to go back to sleep after I first woke (and I did for a little while) to sleep away the feelings, I knew I had to face them eventually. There are times in my life that I've wrestled with sadness mixed with a healthy dose of anxiety. I told a friend today what when Anna was eight and Abigail was four I KNEW I was living in my 'favorite days'. Of course those eight and four are just a one such combination. I would say the years from when  Anna was placed in my arms up to all those home years. All those early school years. All of those years I was a stay at home mama. I knew it when I was living in those days that those would be my favorite, and for that I am grateful. 

I know wonderful days are coming too. I know God has planned immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20) Those are the steps he guided me though in my life. So I know there is more joy than even those at home - young days. But it's okay to grieve those little days too... especially with such changes happening. 

This party forced me to think about changes that are coming and was sad. 

But I chose to wake up rejoicing. Joy comes from the word rejoice... rejoice in the Lord always, rejoice." (Philippians 4:4-8) "This is the day the Lord has made, let us REJOICE and be glad." (Psalm 118:24)"... joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5) are the scriptures that flooded my heart as I took my first morning steps. 

I am over-the-moon excited about Anna's choice of college. I am proud of the young woman she has become. I am overjoyed, rejoicing at these next steps. It truly such a mix of feelings. I am grateful for all of the friends I have that are a few steps ahead of me and have walked this path that have given me permission to feel them. 

I am quite certain that the time, love, attention to detail, and mostly the 'program' that Scott and I put together to honor Anna in this very important step in her life is what makes me so happy but also so sad at the same time. 

It was the most magnificent party I've had. And it was last night. 

I've had many parties in my backyard. 

I've had little girl tea parties.

There have been fairy birthday parties.

A rainbow party happened in our backyard. 

and there was a great big hula party. 

I'll never forget her mermaid party, 

or her snoopy party. 

and the art party

so so many over the years. 

But the backyard party I hosted last night is my favorite of all time. 

It was elegant. It was comfortable. It was pretty. It was deeply meaningful. It was spiritual.

I have all of the 'set up' pictures. And the rest are captured in my heart, not with my camera and lens. I will have to explain those missing images (since I lived it and didn't pick up my camera) with words so that I don't ever forget. 

It was a simple party, really. I spread the tables with my vintage table cloths, treasures that I love so much. I bought so many purple flowers and worked on arrangements in my milksglass all that morning. 

I had ordered her senior photos that I had taken throughout her senior year. The 'Four Seasons', one on each table. 

Anna wanted "something fun and different" at this party so we looked at a nearby equipment rental place and settled on this fun drink machine - we chose a cherry and pina colada. Yum! 

The sun so pretty in our backyard at just 6:00. 

This year when we planted our annuals, we chose all purple for her college colors, of course! 

I didn't have Anna look in the backyard all day - this was the first time she saw everything set up. 

Purple cloth napkins needed a little touch up as the girls looked over everything. 

For favors I chose Munsons (a chocolate company in Connecticut), and music notes seemed perfect for Anna. 

With all of the purple flowers, milkglass, and a few things from graduation day itself, I loved the way it all turned out. 

I love this one... Abigail, the middle table, the white picket fence and arbor. 

Scott and I worked all week on a playlist for the party. Mostly classical songs - but each one with meaning. But of course when the girls were waiting for guests to arrive they turned on some crazy, fun music and had a little dance party! 

I love when I remember to grab my tripod and get a family photo. 

Once our family started to arrive we chatted, enjoyed our special drink maker, and feasted on appetizer platters - one huge for each table - way way too much food! 

Then we served dinner - 

Scott and I prepared a special ceremony. We talked though it and each part was carefully chosen and all typed out. 

Part One: Opening Scripture: Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and peace and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 

Scott spoke about how this particular scripture applies to the significant change in Anna's life. 

Part Two: Music Performance: Abigail played beautifully, a piece that has been Anna's favorite viola piece since she was five years old and first stated playing the viola. It is the first composed song that Anna learned to play and it signifies childhood to her and to us. I was so grateful to Abigail for playing this piece for her big sister. 

Part Three: Gifts and Meaning

On her actual graduation night (back in June) Anna received the picture book "Oh The Places You'll Go" I had every single teacher she ever had from Kindergarten through Twelfth grade sign in. I asked Anna a few days before this ceremony what letter I could read at her graduation party. She chose the one written by her viola teacher. And I read it aloud. (no picture of me reading it) 

He wrote: 

Dearest Anna, 

What a journey we have had together. You are and always will be a part of my life. I will always be here for you if you ever need a little extra advice or if I can help in any way. When we first met you struggled with many things but you persevered and overcame the obstacles. You have grown to be a fine young woman and have such a beautiful heart that I know the would will be a better place because of you. I could ramble on for a long time but I want to leave a few things I hop you will remember. 

1. Miracles will start to happen when you give your dreams as much energy as you do your fears. 

2. Love people not things

3. Live with an attitude of gratitude

4. It is better to walk alone then with a group of people going the wrong way.

5. Believe in yourself and trust that your life is happening the way it is supposed to. 

6. There will be difficult things that happen throughout your life, they are there to help you appreciate the good. 

7. Always do what is right for you, no matter what.

8. You need 3 things to be happy:         Someone to love

                                                              Something to do

                                                              Something to hope for

9. Your family love you more than you know

10. I love you like you are daughter. 

Love, 

Mr. Lee  

And yes, I cried when I read it aloud. 

For the second gift from us I had Anna open it and then I explained to everyone what it meant. 

Here she is opening it. 

... and realizing what it is... 

... and then I explained. It is such a long story but I really want to try to get it here to remember. (although I doubt I would ever forget)

When the girls were little we went to the library a lot. Especially in the summer. All the time, Anna would reach for this book (the book she is holding in her hands in the above photo). She would take it out over and over again. So much so, that I sometimes too pictures with her holding it so that I could remember how much she loved it. Here is a post from way back when she was only eight with that same book. Well, she took out that book so often that it became such a part of her life - of her childhood. There was something about those characters that she adored. It was the old library copy, the watercolor illustrations. Just something about that book. I was in the library sometime this past school year getting a few books for my classroom when I saw in high up on a shelf on display "Anna's book", just sitting there, looking at me so I checked it out and brought it home. And I read it to my girls aloud. It's quite a long book but as I got closer to the end I knew I couldn't return it. It belonged to Anna. 

So I wrote a long email the head of the libraries for our town and explained the story. And guess what?! Of course you know, they said yes. 

Here is that email: 

Good morning,

My name is Tara Baker. I have been a West Hartford resident for 25 years. I am a fourth grade classroom teacher at Braeburn school and a Mom of a Hall High student and King Philip Middle School student. I am frequently at the Bishops Corner library picking up books I've carefully selected to enhance the learning of the twenty one students in my classroom. I read a picture book a day to fourth graders as well as a chapter from a upper elementary novel. My classroom is alive with the magic of books and I can't imagine teaching without the support of the West Hartford Public Library.

Although my 'library days' are now focused on the books that help me be the best teacher I can possibly be, there were many, many years that the Bishops Corner library was almost a second home to my then toddlers and growing daughters. When we adopted our oldest daughter from China, one of the first things I did was sign her up for a 'sit on my lap' book reading program. How she delighted in Mrs. Breen and her puppy puppet.

Week after week, year after year, we attended those library programs. I literally watched my daughter turn pages of board books in my lap as her eyes lit up with the magic that only together time and books can bring.

As a second daughter came into our lives, I still found a way to attend those wonderful programs. As my daughters grew and my oldest learned to read, we would spend countless hours after school and on weekends filling bags of books to bring home. I can remember when the pile on her desk was so high I started taking pictures of them to remember the kinds of books she liked to read. Somewhere in between those toddler programs and learning to read, my daughter fell in love with stories, with words on pages, and the magic they created in worlds only her imagination could create.

Over all these years there was one book that captured her heart more than any other. So much so, that she would check it out and bring it home every other library trip. At first I read this book aloud to my daughters. Eventually she began reading it herself - over and over and over. This book became only simply a 'favorite', but more of something that belonged to her identity. When she was around eight and then around twelve I took a picture of her holding and reading the book thinking that she would eventually pass it by on our library trips. I wanted to remember.

But she never passed it by.

I'm not quite sure what this book holds in her heart. Only she knows and when I ask her, she just says, "it's my childhood".

Of course Amazon helped me to bring that book permanently in our home - of course a book that means that much she should own. And she does.

But it's not 'that book' from the Bishops Corner library - the one with the yellowed pages and the water color cover.

My daughter is now a senior at Hall High. Writing stories is her heart beat. I'm not sure what she will end up 'becoming' when she is an adult, but I know that the Bishops Corner library and 'that book' have made a lasting impression and helped to form her story heart. And I thank you for that.

Just last week as I was picking up my stack of books from the library for my classroom I decided to walk through the children's section. I was looking for 'that book'. It's quite an old copy, maybe, I thought, they've discarded it for something more new. But there it was, on display, high up on a shelf. So I checked it out. And started reading it aloud again - even at almost eighteen, she melted right into it.

This fall, Anna will be leaving home to attend the College of the Holy Cross in MA. After graduating with an above 4.0, being a part of the Solisti orchestra and writing thousands of pages of her own stories, she is ready.

And here is why I am writing to you. I am wondering if this old book that sits on the shelf in the Bishops Corner library could possibly be hers.

I was wondering, is there a way I could make a donation to the library in some way that would allow that book to permanently be checked out to the one that loves it more than anyone could.

Perhaps not. There are policies. And I understand.

But if you were to ever discard this book as you fill your shelves with new - please consider allowing it to live in our home. We would, she would, cherish it forever as a piece of her childhood and a permanentt piece of her heart.

Oh how I would love to give her that gift.

Attached is a picture I took long ago of Anna and this book.

It is called The World of Pooh by A.A. Milne.

Above this request, I would like to thank those of you that work tirelessly at the West Hartford Public Library, especially at the Bishops Corner library. To the children librarians bot past and present:

you hold magic on your shelves, in your hearts, and this Mom thanks you from the bottom of her heart for your beautiful work and beautiful library.

Most sincerely,

Tara Baker

When Anna opened that book she was in shock. I know she'll have it forever. My gift to her. Not just the actual book, but the gift of reading. The gift of loving beautifully written words. The gift of a magical childhood. 

Part Four: Prayer/Blessing

We invited Anna to come up and we said this prayer over her. 

Graduation Blessing 

Scott: May the Father of LIfe pour out His grace on you;

may you feel His hand in everything you do

and be strengthened by the things He brings you through

this is my prayer for you. 

Tara: May the Son of God be Lord in all your ways;

may He shepherd you the length of all your days,

and in your heart may He receive the praise;

this is my prayer for you. 

Abigail: And despite how simple it may sound,

I pray that His grace will abound

and motivate everything you do;

and may the fullness of His love be shared through you. 

All: May His Spirit comfort you, and make you strong,

may He discipline you gently when you’re wrong,

and in your heart may He give you a song:

this is my prayer for you. 

Part Five: Video

I don't have a photo to show you what this looked like, but we borrowed a huge screen and projector from Scott's school and showed this movie to everyone. It was the first time Anna saw it.

I am so glad we had this celebration for our daughter. It was just what I needed as a mama to feel complete in this stage. She is ready, and we are ready. Miss her? Oh my goodness, my heart can't bear to think about the end of August. But God is with her and with us. She will be amazing and we will find ourselves in a new chapter. One with a more grown up Anna and I still, her mama. 

For a few more looks at our backyard, head to my instagram and click on the headline saved under 'graduation week'.