Never Posted ~ Valentines When She was in China

February 2026 ~ Two years ago Anna was in China for six months studying at a college there and becoming fluent in the language. I must have meant to post these pictures but never hit publish and just noticed it as a draft. Since it's about Valentine's Day, I thought I'd post it now.  

This weekend I got all of the little things ready to mail to Anna in China for Valentines Day. I know that Valentines is not a thing in China - and Chinese New Year IS a big big thing, but I wanted to send a little heart love to our girl over here. 

 All sealed up and ready to goooooo!

It reminded me of twenty years ago when Scott and I mailed another special package to China - one for a baby girl waiting in an orphanage. (pictures from albums) 

Adoption Day

Twenty One years ago today a little baby was placed in my arms.

I was on the other side of the world. 

There were no adoring grandparents in the room. There were no aunts or uncles or cousins. 

It was just Scott and I. 

And the Holy Spirit. We could feel the wind and the warmth. We were not alone. 

And although the day didn't go exactly as expected, it was a glorious one;

because the word orphan was erased from Jiang Qian's name forever, 

and she became Anna Jiang Qian. 

And I am so very very blessed to be a part of God's redeeming plan in her life. May she know his love, feel his tender care, and always know that she is treasured.  

If you want to see some videos, here they are: 

Adoption Day ~ Twenty Years Ago Today

Just like all things I wonder how that much time has gone by. But THIS ONE, this anniversary of her adoption day being twenty years ago is just amazing to me. 

When I think over all of those years I can't help but realize all that God has done. He has had his hand on Anna's life from the beginning, even before we could be in China. There have been such challenges for her along the way. There have been things that have been unfair - things that no child should have to work through. But she has. Twenty years of hard work, love, pouring into her life, and I am overwhelmed with who she is and where she is in her life. She is truly a remarkable young woman. 

In some ways August 16, 2004 seems like so very long ago. I have to concentrate, close my eyes even to see the scene. Memories have faded. I am grateful for every moment caught on video. I remember being nervous but looking back now I am amazed at the act of obedience to God's calling us to adoption Scott and I took. He spoke to our hearts, we listened, we followed, we trusted and have continued to trust Him every day on this journey of parenting Anna. 

Like all mothers, just for a moment I wish I could go back and rock her to sleep again, watch her eyes flutter closed, tell that sweet very young mama that everything would be okay. I've learned so much and now I rest at ease knowing that God has access to her heart and her thoughts. I've poured into her life and given her a firm foundation but will continue to parent, disciple, love, encourage all the days of my life. 

So today I rest in a glorious place - total gratitude and awe. There are things she 'accomplished'. She is a deans list student at Holy Cross with an acceptance rate of 36.4%. She is a beautiful viola player. She is exceptionally bright, witty, kind, hard working. But above all of that; the peace that I have, comes from her knowing a loving God and loving Him in return. Her heart is deeply rooted in the catholic faith and I have no worry about her future because it is in His hands, the one that held her before I could. 

Happy twenty years as a family Anna. Twenty years ago today I became a mama. Twenty years ago today the word orphan was forever erased from your name. You are a treasure to us, and I can't wait to watch you as God's plan for your life unfolds. 

Love, 

Mama 

Other posts you might like: 

thoughts on adoption 

adoption day ~ ten years of forever

ten years ago today 

the story of Anna, part 1

the story of Anna, part 2

the story of Anna, part 3

the story of Anna, part 4

the story of Anna, part 5 

the story of Anna, part 6

the story of Anna, part 7

the story of Anna, part 8

 adoption day videos 

Eighteen Years Home

Today, 18 years ago, in a city in China a miracle happened. 

Scott and I were just the blessed ones to witness this miracle with our own eyes 

and hearts. 

In that very moment the word orphan was erased from her life -- forever. 

How blessed are we that we got to hold her in that very moment? 

There is nothing on the earth like that -- nothing like knowing you are living in a moment of a miracle.

And I don't take that moment on August 16 in the afternoon for grated. Not one bit. 

We are so lucky she is ours and we are hers. 

Today my heart overflows with gratitude for this miracle God did. 

If you want to read about the 'story of anna' just click below: 

Click here for part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7

part 8

part 9 

Anna is Leaving In 7 Days

The song I'm listening to right now 

I hate the phrase, "where did the time go". 

It feels different than that.

Today I just feel proud of her. Grateful, that feeling of it all swelled up inside me. 

You all, she could have been an orphan. Forever. I can't even begin to think about what her life would be if she were eighteen and living in China. 

What happens to orphans living in China after they "age out" at only fourteen years old? 

The truth is, we don't know. If they are lucky they can work for the orphanage but many are released to the streets with no resources, alone.  

Just read that again and let it soak in this time: If they are lucky they can work for the orphanage but many are released to the streets with no resources, alone. 

But Anna is brilliant. And funny, and kind. 

She is filled to brim with potential. 

Yes, she still aches - for the story of her life is not a fairy tale. 

Adoption means that one family is broken to create a new one. 

We, Scott and I, are the blessed ones. But our little girl from China, Jiang Qian (her given Chinese name) was completely separated from her family. And that creates a primal wound. 

We have loved her for seventeen precious years but even our love can't 'fix' everything. Only God can. 

And there are still some scars that even He has not healed yet. He will, one day.

And so, I suppose each Mom sending their child off to college feels all of the sad "where did the time go" feelings.

I don't.

I feel beyond grateful that Anna has this opportunity - college - a new place to grow and learn. 

Oh how I wish I could have checked off all of the boxes as her mama. 

Why does she have to walk into college still with sensory integration/processing disorder and PTSD? 

But why not? 

Dear Anna, walk in there proud. Walk in there grateful. Walk in there knowing who you are and whos you are. 

A family was broken - a birth mother had to hurt so much - my darling daughter still aches for what she had to go through - but me? How did I get so richly blessed? Look at what I got to do. I got to be her mama all those years and still all of the years to come. 

Years ago a friend said to me before she walked out of my life, "you hold her too much" "you never take your eyes off her" "you're always touching her" 

I say, thank goodness. 

I do believe that the hardest part might be that I've "held her" and "never taken my eyes off her"  more than what might be 'normal' and then suddenly in seven days I can't 

... or really I can, just in a new way. 

You see, I knew the miracle I had in my arms. God knit her in my heart from the moment she was ours. And letting go, not holding her, not looking at her daily will grieve my mama's heart. 

But I trust in the One that brought us together. And He will make a new way. 

Seven days. 

Adoption Day

Well as I was blogging all of those Alaska days regular life was going on here - and regular life in mid August is pretty wonderful. It's a lot of relaxing, our little daily routines, and just getting my big toe dipped into the water of teaching again. I've been in the classroom here and there - now actually it's time to get really in there - my list for back to school is growing!

But this day was a tender, special day. August 16, 2004 was the day we adopted Anna and when that calendar day rolls around we just love it. More than a birthday, hard to describe, it's bitter sweet, and warm, and we love it.

Anna got her braces off that morning. She had invisalign so it wasn't that big of a deal (since no one even knew she had braces) But her teeth look amazing and I'm happy she doesn't have to deal with those liners anymore. I love that her orthodontist makes such a big deal out of it - there was music playing and he wore a head light - there were presents and balloons and fancy donuts!  Made me want to get some braces for myself.







Since were were in town we spent some time in the toy store just meandering around.



The afternoon was relaxing at home.



There were a few gifts that afternoon and flowers from daddy.









We went out to dinner and just loved recognizing this very special day for our family.



Wasn't this yesterday?  Oh please don't let another five years go by...

I Believe in Love at First Sight

Thinking a whole lot about this -- almost 15 years ago this August.

Anna Turned Sixteen

Sixteen is such a sweet age. And Anna makes a wonderful sixteen year old.

So many of the birthdays my girls have turned reminded me of when I turned that age myself. Not sixteen. Sixteen now is so totally different than sixteen in 1989.

Anna {like so many of her peers} has no interest in learning to drive. Someday? Well, yes of course. But not now.

I'm grateful that sixteen now {at least for Anna} is still family time - loving being home and together. Sixteen is playing with your sister still. Sixteen is reading on the couch in the summer after lunch. Sixteen is being tucked into bed every single night with a hug and a kiss.

More independence? Sure, yes, there is. Anna is a lovely sixteen year old. And oh so funny. She has us laughing every day. She does so much around the house, for us, for her sister. She manages school and her intense viola studies while she still enjoys drawing and stuffed animals. She is wise about the world around her and the greater world out there. She understands things happening and has a unique perspective on events going on.

She loves her life and wants to protect the environment {and the animals living in it}.

Anna holds a calmness about things that would keep me up at night. She gives wonderful life advice and usually has me in awe with the wisdom she holds.

Her faith life is strong and yet very different than mine - it is all her own, just as it should be.

Anna is very smart and very young all at the same time. She is confident and doesn't worry about what others think. She is quite happy with who she is and has no desire to try to be like anyone else. She is perfectly happy outside the 'normal' bubble of high school girl drama. She has no time for that in her life and thinks it's all quite silly, really. She seems to hold a maturity that girls gain somewhere in the middle of college - and yet she is feels young to me in other ways.

Anna is also a complex person. And it's difficult to think you know her well - there are many layers. Scott, Abigail and I are really the only ones who know all of Anna. There are things from her past that have made it difficult for her. She is strong but oh so fragile all at the same time. And that alone has made Scott and I yearn to be the best we can for her. We will protect her for the rest of her lives even if the 'world' doesn't understand. And yet we will also watch as she braves things that are unthinkable for a sixteen year old.

Anna's past and what she has gone through is more than anyone I personally know. And yet... God is writing a beautiful new story in her life. He continues to heal her from a most horrific first 14 months of life. And although I would do anything to go back and have Anna in my arms from the second she was born - I can't and that's okay. I have the unique privilege to watch her walk out with grace His plan for her life. There is beauty in ashes and I will continue to hold her hand and cheer her on as she lives and breathes this beautiful life.

Oh how I wish I could meet the woman that gave her life all those sixteen years ago - I would wrap my arms around her and thank her for letting me be her mama. This complex, fun, fragile, beautiful, brilliant, kind, wonderful daughter I have is because of her. And God who put us together. For that I am grateful.

Happy birthday darling daughter.



Now - let's start that birthday post:

We celebrated big for Anna on her birthday. THIS is how she woke up on sixteen!!!



Sixteen pink balloons filled her sky above the bed and the ribbons tickled her face as she woke up.



It was pretty awesome!





We were in the final stretch of school - in fact it was the very last Monday of school.



After we all got home I set up the porch and we celebrated with cake and presents.



She picked a wonderful strawberry cake that I baked the night before and assembled on her birthday. The filling was amazing!







It was so much fun {and still so new} to be in the baking center!







I love baking for my girls on their birthday - making their birthday cake is such a wonderful treat for me.



The recipe came from a cookbook on just birthday cakes. I handed it to Anna a few days earlier and said, "pick one". Oh boy... she sure picked a good one!



I love this moment - the just before she's sixteen moment.







And then it was time for presents.





Sweetness...





Abigail has lots of love for this big sister of hers.





Scott and I wanted to get Anna something really special for her sixteenth. We bought her a drop pearl in  China all of those years ago and saved it for this day.

And the weekend before we headed to a jewelry store to buy a white gold chain for the pearl. It took her breath away.









And so it was a very sweet night filled with love for our girl. I love her oh so much and can't wait to celebrate birthdays for years to come.