This April vacation we really wanted to pull Abigail away from the normal. Her normal is tough. Although is it her story to tell someday, and I hope she does, I will say that having to wear a brace from scoliosis every night is very painful. It steals hours of her too little sleep. She is positive and has a bright outlook but I see the sadness. And she has daily pain from the the disease she's suffered from since she was a baby, Eosinophilic Esophagitis. She suffers from clinical perfectionism and other things that make daily life a struggle. But she is light and hope and a joy to be her mama. So this break we needed to pull her away. We talked to Anna since this would be the very first time we'd be going to a hotel without her. Anna was actually the one that thought of Boston since Boston is just 45 minutes away from her college campus. That way we could pick up Anna for her Easter long weekend on our way home. Perfect.
I am so grateful that we have no school and that our break lined up with Holy Week for I would have a hard time reflecting this week and being in prayer in the midst of teaching.
This week we will study the lives of the saints,
attend Confession,
and Adoration of the Eucharist.
I will spend less time on line reading others views of Holy Week (although I've often been in awe and inspired by Catholic accounts I follow) and instead listen to my own heart and what God would want to teach me this week.
I will keep a song in my heart and a prayer on my lips.
I will say the Holy Rosary each day reflecting on the Sorrowful Mysteries.
And above all I will be grateful, so grateful for Jesus's love for me.
This is Abigail at our church today.
And this is a little clip Anna sent me outside her church on campus as they began Mass outside and processed in.
This week I recommend this book:
When I first got this book I read it cover to cover. Now it is out on my nightstand as a reference book. I love it for the simple prayers:
This winter Abigail grew out of her viola. She has been growing, yahoo! And getting a new viola is a long and wonderful process.
It starts with her private teacher recommending a larger size. This in and of itself is a very big deal because the larger the viola, the deeper, more rich and vibrant the sound. So whenever we get the thumbs up/ green light for either of our girls to go up a size we do!
How does "getting a new viola" work?
We we don't rent but own the violas, so we work with a company in Boston that we sell back and purchase from. They are wonderful to work with. This time they sent Abigail two new violas in the size we were looking for.
Now sometimes trying the two they send just doesn't work. It's possible that they don't 'feel right' or 'sound right' to the one playing. So sometimes this process of back and forth can take months.
A few years ago Anna's (final) viola (at least we think it might be her final viola) took over a month (or maybe it was more) to decide. We were back and forth through so many until she found the one that she loves and plays now.
Now that Abigail is a freshman in high school and playing in three orchestras, group class, and chamber group she really has stepped up as a player, and it was time for a really good instrument.
We were thrilled that out of the first two they sent, she fell in love with one of them.
Choosing her bow took a lot longer but the viola itself wasn't hard at all.
I grabbed my camera as much as I could in this process. Because I always want to remember and a string of pictures just helps with that.
At her lesson, her private teacher had her play both violas and they took notes. They her teacher played and Abigail took notes. They both chose the same viola!
So for a while all of these violas were in our living room. There were new ones, her regular one... it was a few weeks at least.
And then she had to say goodbye to her old one. It is always bittersweet.
"Thank you for helping me get into Vivace."
"Thank you for helping me get into Camerata."
One last look and a goodbye, back to Boston she went.
Abigail has been loving her new viola. Here's to many years of music.
For this Sunday Ponderings - a repost from a few years ago. I came across it and love (still) every word. Scroll below as I am still recommending a new book every Sunday....
"NO LANGUAGE CAN EXPRESS THE POWER, AND BEAUTY, AND HEROISM, AND MAJESTY OF A MOTHER'S LOVE." -Edwon Hubbell Chapin
I always knew I wanted to be a mother. Always. I remember being eight and loving my dolls like they were real. I remember the carriage I pushed them in. There were times I thought for a moment that I should be into things my friends were into at the time. But I really just loved being a mother to those dolls. I dreamed and wished and knew I would be a mama one day.
There were times in college when I thought how I wish these classes would be over so I could be a teacher in a classroom - so I could be married - and so finally I could be a mother.
I don't think I ever thought of motherhood with children past the age of three. After all, my dolls never grew up, they were babies forever.
And even though I never pictured a fifteen year old and an eleven year old I do love being a mother. That hasn't changed at all. I'm still just as passionate about it. Still just as in awe. Still wanting to do my best while my heart fills up with nothing else in this world - the way it fills with mothering.
I've decided to reflect on mothering and motherhood {for me} every Monday. Really, for me, to remind myself of things I believe, and maybe one day for my daughters to read as they search for inspiration, and faith, and meaning in motherhood.
So for today - my topic, my thought is on leaving my career, my teaching, leaving my classroom:
I left teaching for thirteen years. Thirteen glorious, wonderful, amazing, hard, growing, loving years. Of all of the things God has given me, of all of the gifts in my life that I know are from His hand - thirteen years has been the greatest surprise and most wonderful gift of all. Thank you Lord for those years. They are treasures that carry me through and give me strength, and they are from You.
When Anna came home, her little hand in mind, the smell of her head, just picking her up out of her crib filled my emotional cup like nothing I'd ever known. I do believe that God gives us such a richness in babies to carry us through the more challenging, more mundane everyday tasks of those early years. Rocking her in her nursery and reading to her was all I could ever want. I thanked God for each moment with that precious Chinese baby in my arms. Not one moment was taken for granted.
The "plan" was for me to stay home, out of the classroom for one full school year. But she was the most beautiful, most enduring, most lovely baby that ever existed on the planet and certainly in my wildest dreams.
I didn't exactly ever sit down at one time and think This is it; I'm choosing traditional motherhood over my own career, over my teaching.I simply wanted to be with my daughter as much as possible. I wanted to woo her, love her, care for her, and serve her and find joy in each moment she required. So when that call came in late March from my principal about me returning the next year, I simply said no.
And that decision led to thirteen years at home.
To my grown dear daughters who may read this one day:
If you can, if only you can, stay at home with your lovely babies and soak those years up; for as many as the Lord will give you. It's that simple. There are no other words to say.
Let God write on your hearts what you should do. And know that the daily, hard, repetitive work of making a home a haven, providing healthy meals, correcting your little ones, constantly cleaning up messes, is really the stuff from which Godliness is built. And it is important work.
It is Sunday night and my heart is so full - to the brim.
I keep track in a planner of things that I need to focus on: my faith, my family, etc. I need simple action steps and although I don't think a planner solves problems I need baby steps. And this weekend we got the opportunity to do so many things that fill my weekend with joy joy joy.
I have very little pictures but one full heart.
Friday
Coming home
Saturday
Listening
It was J.S. Bach's birthday celebration
Sunday
Visiting
Mass at Anna's church
I just love this very holy place so much
We have so much fun visiting Anna at Holy Cross -
There was so much more to this weekend that filled my heart. But this little post will spark a memory some day when I look back and all of the joy.
