Converstaions

The other day I had a conversation with Anna.  It was one of those where the red light went off and I knew I needed to stop everyting and be completly present.  Right in our living room after I had just finished listening to Anna practice her viola.  I told Anna that it was bath time and not time to go start something to play.  And she said,

"Mommy, I feel like I need to stop doing something."  I stopped in my tracks knowing that this conversation was important.  To validate her feelings and let her express herself.  In that one moment I knew that I wanted to be open to hear all that she had to say and I knew that I wanted to respond the 'right way'.  So I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer for guidance, and said,

"What do you mean Anna?"  And she came over and we snuggled on the same chair.

"I feel like I'm too busy and I need to stop one of my things."

"Okay, you can stop anything you feel like.  What do you think you need to quit?" 

And then the most surprising things came out of her.  "I just CAN'T quit viola!" 

It's not that Anna doesn't like viola, but that comment surprised me. Maybe it was because she said it with such enthusiasm.  She certainly meant what she said. 

And surprisingly enough viola is the one activity that takes the most amount of time.  (private weekly lesson, group weekly lesson, practice daily, and listening to her CD on top of it all)  And it's hard, just plain hard work to learn a string instrument.  So I was pleasently surprised that she said that.  Happy not just that she didn't want to quit her instrument but because she finally showed a love for learning it, ownership of her skills, and wanting to learn more. 

"So, what do you think you'd like to stop doing?"  I asked her trying to not lead the conversation too much.

And she began to think through all of the things that keep her too busy.  "Well, I can't quit church school.  That's not an option."

"You're right, honey, you can't quit church school."

"Mabye I should stop doing art class"  (long pause)  "But that's on Saturday so I don't mind it.  And besides I don't want to miss anything." 

"I think I'll quit ballet." 

(Pause here as my heart drops)  But I try my best to smile and I said,  "If you want to stop doing ballet after this year then you can."

And in a flash of a moment I knew I'd never see her on pointe.  And oh to have those pink leotards gone.... be still my heart.  But I knew and LOVED her honesty. I loved the fact that she trusted me enough to tell me that she was doing too much.  And I was oh so proud of her in that conversation.

I held her tight and said, "Anna, I'm so proud of you for telling me what you're feeling.  I'll help you figure all of this out.  We need to finish our commitments this year and then you can make your decisions for next year over the summer.  But I'm so glad you told me."

And then in the car the next day she said, "welllll, maybe I can just do ballet til I get to go on pointe"  I smiled knowing that she is one little girl who loves life to the fullest. 

It's not that I want my girls to "do everyting."  I just want them to find "their thing".  I felt so good knowing that Anna is beginning to sift through all of the things she's been exposed to and find "her thing." 

Movin on to the kitchen

We've had a white kitchen since we moved here in 2001.  White counters, white cabinets, white walls.  I always loved the "blank slate" for all of the seasonal decorating I love to do.  (this is December)

But recently I'm needing a change.  I think it's the long winter and really just needing spring.  But Scott is willing to paint to help me through the end of February and March.  So we're (oops, there I go again, Scott is) painting it a light grayish blue.  The inspiration was from these mugs I love.

After so many years of white and white, I'm a bit nervous about blue... but excited too! 

It took lots of trials to find the right blue.  The first few we tried looked a bit purplish on the walls; Abigail sure would have loved it1 

When Scott has a day off...

otherwise titled... I'm in Heaven

It's been a while since we've (oh, I mean Scott) has repainted the hallway.  It's a big job and it makes me so happy.  The smell of clean, fresh, paint in my house makes me giddy.  Really, it does.  Not a new color but just a much needed touch up... ahh! 

Do kids always have to touch the walls on their way up the stairs every time?  These are the befores and I can see their little handprints going all the way up the stairs.  I love their hands,  just the paint has started looking greyish. 

Got this paint color from my friend Liz.  (thanks Liz, do you remember this color?)  I stil love it! 

By the way, when did paint go up in price so much?  $110 for two gallons?  Really? 

Recently we've....

Gone bowling... with our dear friends.  It was so much fun to experience something new with the girls.  Abigail was determined to carry the ball herself, so cute! 

Taken Anna to see a beautiful Chinese show. 

Gone to a Chinese Culture Camp day event.  Here's Anna placing her name on the map of China where her orphanage was.  Tears in our eyes watching her do this...

Met one of her favorite authors who writes beautiful children's books.  Anna was so nervous to meet her and the pictures showed just how scared she was.  I was so thrilled to meet Gracie Lin.  She spoke to the group of children and you couldn't hear a pin drop, she was just do delightful to listen to.  And she taught a mini drawing class to the older ones.  How wonderful to see Anna look up to a Chinese respected author who was young, pretty, warm and talented.  Just wish I could have gotten a better shot!  She wrote in Anna's favorite book, The Red Thread, "To Anna: follow your thread, always.  Love, Gracie Lin."  Tears again. 

Abigail had us all laughing as she ate her cookie with chopsticks... she thinks she's part Chinese. 

celebrated Valentines Day.  And just so I don't forget, Anna made her Valentine box at Grandma and Grandpa's house. (because of the squirrel in our house).  Uncle Tommy made the origami rose.

and last but not least added to the fairy land with a Ferris Wheel on Valentines Day

A few things I don't want to forget

How excited she was go to her first Valentines Day preschool party. 

How little she looked carrying that big basket of valentines

How she should have had a hat and mittens on as we walked in... bitter cold! 

What Love Really Means

I love this song.  Thank you so much Kim for putting it on your blog. 

Of course it reminds me of my Anna.  Now seven and full of love to give, and filled to the brim with love from her family.  But I'll never forget there was once a time when she didn't know what love was.  A time as a little baby and then even over a year old when she had no idea what it was to be rocked or held, or fed, or sung to, or loved for who she was.  I will never forget. 

Anna,  I will love you for you.  Not for waht you've been through or what you will be.  I will love you for you.   

Chinese New Year Photo Shoot

Anna and I had fun doing this "photo shoot".  It was the week of Chinese New Year and I wanted to get a picture of her in a traditional Chinese outfit.  Anna loved the ones with her hair down.  I thought she looked too old.  I'm quite fond of the the two buns. 

They were out the moment we were done... darn!  She looks so cute that way!

Silly Anna... so her!

That's more like it!

my favorite